Private carers

[RememberDecember]

Hi, both parents have dementia and I am keen to get some care in, if only to introduce it at this point whilst it is easier - I am sure it will need to increase at some point. They currently get 1 x AA, I am looking to apply for the other one and council tax rebate but they are definitely over the threshold for council help. I was going to use a recommended local agency but from reading here wondering if there is any advantage to paying via local authority? It seems like they could have same carer 1hr twice a week if using agency, no idea how costs would compare. Not so much of an issue at this point but might be further down the line when needs increase. However, people have said generally the private carers are more reliable in terms of visit times, continuity of care etc, not sure how true that is.

I have contacted council for a care assessment but not heard back from them. Any reason why I shouldn’t just press on with the private agency? Thank you.

No reason. Friend pressed button a week ago and already his relative has had two visits. He says he was only offered 11am slots but took them to get started and hoping for more later.

When I first arranged care for my mum, she was just over threshold. We did get a care assessment (I would keep pressing for that - they do have backlogs in some areas) but because we were over threshold, they just linked us up with an outside agency who had access to a database of care providers.

I organised the care independently and once mum had dipped below threshold we went back to Social Services. They did a new care assessment and gave us the choice of continuing with our current providers and they would give us “direct payments” or they would organise the care themselves.

We chose to continue with the current providers. Their hourly rate was higher than Social Services cap so we topped up the extra ourselves. Also, they tried to keep the visits really short, whereas we’d been paying for an hour in the mornings. I managed to negotiate them up a bit but again, we ended up topping up the extra time ourselves. So I paid the care provider and Social Services transferred most of it into mum’s bank account.

My brother had financial POA which made all this a lot easier.

My father had SS carers, 2 x 30mins. Pretty good continuity of carers. SS billed us (him) once a month. This was pre-Covid

@RememberDecember definitely worth finding out agencies that are on SS brokerage list from the outset. Brilliant to start help coming in now so DPs are used to it.

For a whole range of reasons, we ended up changing agencies twice. SS were obstructive about using a particular agency after discharge because they were too expensive not on their brokerage list.

I have an ss care agency and there lovely. i get 2 visits a day and pay £156 per month after my disability expenses have been taken out of my income.

I failed to get round to booking in the agency this week, but think I will just get in with it to get the ball started. I am a little bit of a loss as to what I should actually be asking them to do though. Only going to do 2 x 1hr visits to start with, thinking at least one of those will be bathing dad. What else to people find useful in the case of dementia?

Everything!

Whatever needs doing and they can no longer do - that is what the carer does. It depends what your parents need/are able to still do. In my mother's case it was take her shopping, make her meals (and ensure she ate them), do housework and laundry, keep her company. After a while they also helped her to bathe and dress.

I used Home Instead. They called it 'companion care'. The manager will meet you and your parents at their home and you can decide together what needs doing, how much time you want to pay for, and what they can achieve in that time.

What are Home Instead's rates please - just for preparing a ready meal and ensuring it's eaten, stuff like that. Are they a lot more expensive than other private carers? Am in East Mids.

Sorry am using your thread OP, hope you don't mind.

Of course not @JanglyBeads :)

Separately, I went to see my parents today and they are now refusing to have carers in which is hugely disappointing. Dad has said he will refuse to answer door to them. I think the cost is a big reason why they don’t want to do it, despite easily being able to afford it, they just see it as an unnecessary expense. They also mentioned they are concerned about someone unknown in the house, not that they have a lot of valuables but obviously some bits and pieces. I have tried saying they will be vetted by the agency but they are having none of it. I thought we were making progress but it seems not, so fucking draining.

It really is, OP. 😕

@RememberDecember I'm sorry you parents are refusing care. I would contact social services again and push for an assessment. If they need the help it should be provided. I know its difficult with elderly parents, had the same problem with mine. Sending hugs x

Used council one for MIL, useless. Quickly transferred to private ... worth the money ... like night and day!

Could you try telling your parents that having someone in will take the pressure off whomever provides care now?

Remind them that getting to know those who will give them support in the future will make it easier on them & reduce your stress levels.

Some clients do have cameras in their home for protection too.

Good luck.

Well I can now answer my own question as have spoken to Home Instead, who sound very helpful (although I note it is a franchise), and have sent me this price list:

Here we go

Nobody ever wants carers. Thing is that it's generally the same ones that come so they very quickly become friends.

Are you the main carer at the moment?

Would you be there and they could come at the same time? As in "mum dad if you won't at least try this you're going to exhaust me. If you want I will be there at the save time as them to keep an eye on them they can help me make the dinner and fold the sheets and out the washing away or whatever with me. I'm tired caring fur you both. If there are two of us it'll really help me".

With a view to them getting to know the carers, and then you will perhaps be five mins late one day and they let the carers start dinner or whatever knowing you'll be along soon, and within a month you will no longer be needed ti be there at the same time?

To be honest, I am not doing much on a practical basis, it is basically my mum caring for my dad. She does all the cooking, cleaning, etc but her short term memory is now worse than his but she is much more physically able.
@DeliciousApples so it is not so much to relieve pressure on me (although I would feel more secure knowing they had someone to help out and regular visits). And the need is only going to grow so I was hoping to get someone established sooner rather than later.

My dad had a fall walking outside a few days ago and is pretty beaten up plus my mum is struggling to mange both their medication xtra help would be are good but they are adamant they don’t need it. They would rather bother a neighbour if something urgent comes up.

I think I am going to request the care assessment, maybe that will convince them they would benefit from having someone come in. I did speak to someone from the council re assessment when they seemed amenable to getting a carer but didn’t think it would be that useful for private carer plus long wait. Going to push for it now, even if it is just to try to persuade them that it would be a step forward to get a carer. Feel like I am jumping through unnecessary hoops here.

Do you know about dosset boxes you get from the chemist ie a box with se toons for days of the week with four sections per day that pills go in.

They last a week at a time and the chemist fills up with what a patient needs per the GP prescription.

So no bottles of pills around that can be confusing for the elderly. They are really good.

@DeliciousApples i I asked the GP about rosette box’s and they said they don’t prescribe them as too expensive. I moved their meds to Lloyds Direct and don’t seem to be able to order from there, but it seems like there are other online pharmacies that will do it if you are on more than 4 meds. I think mum has 4 and dad 3 so it might at least sort hers out.

Does anyone use these online ordering services for dosette/blister packs? Eg Pilltime
im a little reluctant to change when I don’t really know if this is going to be the right thing and Lloyds app currently easy for them to use. I generally order the meds but they are comfortable with the interface.

I'm in Scotland so it's different here but Reach pharmacy does them free up here and delivers to the patient.

We recommend Pilltime at work (stroke team) and they are a godsend now that most pharmacies won't do dossett boxes any more. It depends what the exact issue is?

@Idwal I’m sorry to say this but this thread and Mumsnet aren’t usually the right place for this sort of request. Where else have you tried? Have you talked to any agencies?