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Elderly parents

VERY FED UP

27 replies

rk0604 · 06/10/2024 16:44

Hi I don't know if I'm doing this right but here goes anyway. I may upset people but please I ask you not to judge as I have no one to talk to about it. I have an elderly dad, 96, who has lived in a care home for 18 months. We are not close and I no longer visit him because I just could not bring myself to do it anymore. I am fed up, even bitter that it's just been me looking out for him since my mum died in 2014; he was always a very difficult to like sort of man, and not a good parent, stripped away all my self esteem and self confidence, again which I am quite bitter about. I could bring myself to visit him once in a while if he wasn't totally deaf, he uses a hearing aid but the doctor said his ears are blocked so it doesn't help much, and he refuses to have his ears cleaned out. He won't have his cararacts removed either and has macular degeneration so he can't see me or hear me. He shouts and has poor hygiene and basically has no life at all, he doesn't even want to be here, I honestly do not know why God/the universe is keeping him alive. He is no good to anyone and also all my inferitance, which would have been left to my daughters in turn, has been used up in care home fees. I am a pensioner and pay rent so I could have bought a little house for myself. I am depressed, fed up, and with everything going on in this country with the costs of living etc I can't see life getting any better. I have seen nice people and younger people die but he is still here, WHY?

OP posts:
BlueLegume · 13/10/2024 10:32

@Cardiganwearer totally understand - I’m always grotty for about 48 hours after any involvement with my mother.

Twiglets1 · 13/10/2024 10:36

Bet that felt good to get off your chest.

I don't blame you for feeling how you do. Your Dad sounds awful, has no quality of life and yes, it would have been better if he had died years ago both financially and emotionally.

Take care and look after yourself, your emotional energy is better spent on the people you love like your daughters.

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