The guilt of not being able to visit every day

[reheatthetea]

DM was admitted to Hospital last Week.
Long term illness, this is her 2nd admission this Year and 8th in the last 3 Years. Every time she is taken into Hospital it's for a Month minimum. The Hospital is just 15 minutes from my House but I'm feeling so guilty I can't visit every single day.
I have 4 Primary aged DCs, Work full time and DH is in the forces, often away for very long periods of time. We have no other Family apart from my DSis's whom both live abroad.
For the record, DM doesn't expect me to visit everyday, (if at all!) but I just feel so awful thinking of her sat there alone day after day with other visitors around her.
Currently making the visits twice a Week, a Friend sits with our DCs whilst they're in Bed.

It sounds like you're doing a brilliant job in very difficult circumstances. In this kind of situation, where it's likely to be a while, you've got to prioritise your children and keeping a roof over
their heads (ie working).

Is there anyone else who could visit - friend, neighbour, someone from the hospital chapel? Then it's not all on you.

Every day is unnecessary. Lots of people wouldn't be able to visit at all due to work,distance etc. Your mother is being looked after - that's all that matters. You have to get on with your normal life.

Obviously this depends on her condition, but perhaps you could set her up with something so you can have some sort of face time at specific times? This would give her something to look forward to without you having to leave the house. She'd also be able to see the children that way.

Daily visits would be nice but they're not really necessary. She's had lots of admissions so she will be well used to Hospital life and how to cope.

If she is well enough to read take her a couple of books when next visit and if she has any kind of faith get in touch with the Chaplain service and ask them to visit her. We did this when DFIL was in for a while.

You sound like you are doing enough

If you buy her an iPad or smart phone I am sure one of the nurses would help set up Face Time so she could talk to you. Could you leave her a card to open every day? Maybe ask the DC to draw some pictures or write short notes and she could open one a day? Lastly, would any of your friends consider popping in for half an hour? Did she belong to her local church or any local groups, perhaps there are other people who could set up a rota. Please don’t feel guilty. It would be impossible and exhausting to visit everyday especially with your other commitments.