What to take / watch out for putting mum in care home.

[Radiog]

wants to take debit and credit cards and bank details, and forms for people to get money out on her behalf. Doesn’t seem wise!
how can she buy online but not get conned. How can she feel she’s in charge but not get conned.
and any other things to watch out for.
she is lucid but beginning to be forgetful.
bedbound so anyone can help themselves, she wouldn’t be able to stop them.
thanks! Sorry but brain now fried!

Oh my gosh heronate that’s AWFul!
thanks everyone for the help. Have persueded het to leave her cards and will look into other suggestions. Of course she is fighting for her independence. She is lucid but has become immobile. Even lifting a cup is difficult so I think the challenge is getting everything within reach.
she’s been in a day or two and so far is miserable- she doesn’t want to bother the carers any asking them To pass her stuff. They seem ok, but of course don’t have the same level of patience her private careers and hubby had.
thank you all, and hugs to everyone and their relatives.

Including anything like a dressing gown belt - speaking from experience here! Preferably sew it on at some point.

Have you had a look online at aids like a grabber, or different types iof cups etc?

In my experience a care home won't provide these but will use them happily.

Careco is a good starting point for this type of thing. Rather that starting from the problem and looking for a solution I found it better to just browse and came across a couple of things I thought would help. Easy to use cutlery is another one I'd never have thought to look for but saw on a site.

Bag to strap on to a zimmer frame, if she uses one

Thanks ! gettinglike I’m sure your mother is wonderful! Sewing dressing gown belt on is a great idea.
Yes, thanks helpful I found a fabulous big water bottle with super long straw somewhere. I’ll look at care co too.
Now the challenge is persuading her she might want it.
Getting old is just pants.

Please tell me that you got the ring back from the carer??

We put a mini fridge in mum's room so she could have cold drinks without having to "bother" the care staff.
I

@ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews yes!
She said it was hers now as Granny had given it to her.
She argued that it fitted her and didn’t fit Granny!
She returned it very performatively when Mum threatened to call the police. ‘This is my ring as it was given to me, but as you are making such a fuss, I will kindly give my ring to you.’

Mini fridge is a great idea. I see some residents have pictures, standard lamps, all sorts.
thanks! Glad you got the ring back.marcipex

Yes,mum had her favourite standard lamp and ornaments. Pictures on the wall. Books from home in a small bookcase..and a very large purple fluffy octopus which she once won in a raffle and wouldnt part with!

If she has a dementia diagnosis persuade her to remove wedding rings etc or you can guarantee they'll disappear when she starts to lose weight.

They tend to fall off and end up going up the hoover. (Or in the bin via a crumpled up tissue/napkin).

If she wears glass or hearing aides, label them or they will get lost or stuck in someone else's ear.

Thanks both! Unfortunately (?!) she’s not got dementia, but cannot move easily. So yes, rings and hearing aids, good tip! Have bought extra long chargers and labeled them so she can keep stuff charged herself.
fluffy octopus 🥹 awww.

How do you label a hearing aid?

A fine tipped permanent marker and pop their initials on. Use it for everything that isn't nailed down! There is usually a 'magpie' resident in a care home that will take other people's things and squirrel them away in their own room.

For glasses, the opticians usually offer a fancy 'shrink wrapped' label during the manufacturing process.

How do you label a hearing aid?

I have previously put a nail varnish dot - or two dots together- in a bright colour on items. I could never read the identifying initials on DM's glasses provided by the optician but the staff could. We also always got DM the same spectacle frame each and every time we ordered glasses for her in the care home. This was for the staff's benefit as much as DM's.

@Mum5net @BibbityBobbityToo
that’s helpful, thanks 👍

Just had another thought, we have to supply toiletries and we would buy e.g 6 bottles of shower gel at a time and leave them in her room.

It was never ending and at one point MIL appeared to have worked her way through 3 bottles in a week. We discovered the carers were leaving them in the communal bathroom (hence a separate room with an actual bath, not her personal en suite with a wet room) and we were keeping the whole care home in bubble baths.... We write her name on literally everything, shower gel, toothpaste and so on. Might sound a bit petty but we were spending a fortune on stuff that kept disappearing into the communal bathroom.

(Not the point but at over £1K per week, it bamboozles me that basic soap/shower gel has to be provided by the family, comes in handy at Xmas though as we all offload our Bayliss and Harding stuff!).

! I know! And some of the homes I’ve looked at are shocking - awful depressing decoration ( dark grey and yellow?) wonky photocoed signs no one has bothered to straighten. 1 carer to 20 residents!
😳