I badly need to contact an aunt of mine

[GreenCocktail]

Basically, my mother is in her early 70s. She's not behaving properly. Every day is different. Every part of every day is different. This morning she's not talking and she's gone into OCD mode but sometimes it looks like there's no sequencing to what she's doing. She will start on one task and leave it. Sometimes it looks likes she's spaced out in her own little world. She's doing stuff that's not quite right.

I chatted to her GP before. She was called in for 'over 65s check up' and she did attend. Nothing really came from that after that.

The last time I chatted to her GP, she asked me 'is there any forgetfulness'. I can say that her memory seems to be good. My observations is mood and behavioural. Like she dismantled a vent to the tumble dryer before and other behaviours is dragging a broken down tumble dryer around the home to see if it works in another area of home.

I have a whole entire list of observations from the past 3 years. The thing is, I am in no doubt in my mind now that there's something happening with her and I am thinking on the lines of dementia. It's just not presenting with a typical forgetfulness.

I think my granny - her mother - was similar but it was never talked about in the family. I think my grandmother had dementia and I think it may have presented in a similar manner - mood and crazy stuff but memory good. This seems to be what I am seeing within my own mother. I know from googling there is a type of dementia that affects behaviours and mood. Typically it's diagnosed in younger people 40s and 50s but it can happen older too. It's FTD. Apparantly that can be genetic.

There's no doubt in my mind that there's something happening with my mother. She's not behaving right at times.

I badly want to talk to auntie of mine to find out more about my grandmother and also to see if any of their other family is having issues or diagnosed with the same. However I don't want my suspicions about my own mother spread around the family as if it's gossip. I can't afford for my mother to hear this back. I know another auntie has difficulties with anger and comprehension. I really think this is running in my mother's family. It's just not talked about.

What do you guys think?
Should I contact my aunt or keep quite?

Dementia can be hereditary but lifestyle factors often trump genetics anyway.
If you don't want this to get back to your mum then I'd forget contacting the aunt and focus on the GP. You can tell the GP that your gran probably had similar symptoms and although forgetfulness is not the issue, .behaviour change is and that is a cause of concern. If the GP doesn't take it seriously then ask for a second opinion.

Can you make a GP appointment and make enquiries about the memory clinic?

How often do you normally see the aunt? Have you got any other reason to contact her so you could kind of get into the subject sideways?

I don't think you'd get anything particularly useful from Aunt anyway. What will you get to be able to tell GP that's more than, I rememberGM had door similar issues?

You already have the information you need so you don't need to speak to your aunt and risk it getting back to your DM. You believe that your maternal GM had dementia of the type you think your DM is probably suffering from. Go back to the GP with this information and point out that this has now been going on for three years and you need a diagnosis so you can access support for your DM.

OP, you repeatedly post on this forum under a range of usernames (one per thread started) about your mother. There is no indication that you ever take any of the advice offered.

Why do you keep posting like this?