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Elderly parents

Is this dementia? Shall I leave her to it?

4 replies

Seasmoke · 21/09/2024 09:03

Basically, my dbro and I have taken my mother abroad to where she is from.as she needed to sell some property so we accompanied her to help out. Basically, she has been rude and argumentative throughout. She flies off the handle at the slightest thing. For example, she wanted to take an empty bag for life home, even though she has a thousand and she has limited room in her suitcase. We just said' why bother taking a 20p bag all the way home and she went mad. I can't remember why she told us this morning that we were terrible people but it was again something trivial. The thing is, my dad passed away 2 years ago, and she constantly harangued and bitched about him, shouted and ranted at him, so I don't know if she is just transferred all that to us. She co stantly tells us the same thing over and over again but again she's always done this to dome extent. She is very controlling and has to micromanage everyone but it makes it very difficult to judge whether it's just her or whether she's developing dementia. She is diabetic but eats sugary shit all the time. Again, if we point it out she replies by flying off the handle so we don't bother anymore. I know that poorly controlled diabetes does cause dementia. My friends mum was very similar personality wise. She said when her mum got dementia she turned into a much nicer person, and when she died, they were finally able to have a nice e time together for the first time in years! DM is 76.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 21/09/2024 09:06

I’ve found that my DM has become more controlling as she’s got older. With yours I’d wait and see how she is when she gets home, and is in a familiar place. It could be that she’s just stressed out.

Seasmoke · 21/09/2024 09:09

Yes could be. Obviously we haven't sll lived together for many years, so it's a surprise that she has become quite do bad.

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BeyondMyWits · 21/09/2024 09:18

Poorly controlled diabetes can cause all sorts of mood issues, as well as all the physical ones - which can also contribute to mental health. Perhaps she would listen if you went to the clinic at her next review. My mum didn't control hers until she went to clinic and there were 2 people there who had lost a foot to it.

I wouldn't just jump to dementia.

Seasmoke · 21/09/2024 09:45

She had 3 brothers with diabetes. One brother died of kidney failure, one died after having both legs amputated and her 3rd brother is on dialysis. Makes no difference. She keeps saying she really doesn't want to go into a home so it did occur to me that she's trying to kill herself before she has to do that, but that's a big gamble to take I think.

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