Nocturia (frequent night time urination) - ideas for mitigation

[Sh1neAL1ght]

DF (83) has Parkinson's, a large inguinal hernia and early dementia.

He has given up alcohol and caffeine.

He manages fairly well during the day but has to get up probably every hour during the night for a wee. He is exhausted. DM is also exhausted with all the washing (aim is worse at night).

I have suggested that he puts his feet up in the evening, has his last drink at 7pm and goes to the toilet every hour between 7pm and bedtime (about 10pm) even if he doesn't feel the need. This was a month ago and every time I ask he says he keeps forgetting. DM gave up reminding him after a couple of days because he was a bit snappy and she's had enough by the evening.

Is it worth me telling them to really try this? Any other suggestions?

DM puts so much effort into the washing every morning but I feel if she could try to make DF stop drinking, put his feet up and go to the loo regularly there might not be so much washing and he'd have a better night's sleep.

Encouraging him to go every hour wether he needs to or not will be counter productive and will probably make the problem worse . Also most men can’t ‘just try’ like women can , they can only go when bladder is full. Try gp, they may be able to prescribe something .

@statetrooperstacey thank you for this advice. I want to get things right for him.

Can he just get a urinal bottle for a night, then less walking? If he suffers with leg oedema needs to keep legs elevated more as often is the fluid redistribution thst causes night frequency. See gp for prostate check. I stop drinking properly around 5ish beyond small sips to reduce nocturia

@Destiny123 thank you. I dint think he'd use a urine bottle- he's quite set in his ways. Fortunately the toilet is very close to his bedroom.
Has stopping drinking at 5pm had a noticeable impact for you?

He needs to be drinking more during the day and trying to empty his bladder less often to increase it's capacity - read about bladder training. Then he should stop drinking a couple of hours before bed.

@ejecoms thank you

Yeah it does, but then I'm 33 and female so can't really compare anatomy/physiology...

(i always have to get up and pee if have been oncall and not drank all day (Dr) then try to fix the horrific dehydration headache I get at around 7pm, normally wouldn't)

@Destiny123 thank you for sharing- I hope it will work for DF if he tries it.
I'm sorry your job means you can't always manage it.

Is this a new thing- needing to go hourly at night? No wonder they are knackered. I'd get him to the GP to rule out:
UTI- needing antibiotic treatment
An enlarged prostate- which meds can help with
And a referral to an incontinence nurse. They will be able to provide techniques to help, pad if required and other ideas to help.

Would an in-toilet, motion sensor light help with the aim?

DM is also exhausted with all the washing (aim is worse at night).
He needs to sit down at night if his aim is that bad. Or if he can't be bothered then he needs to do the washing and cleaning up of his wee, not his poor wife. I don't recall that in the marriage vows.

He needs to go and see his GP. It could be very fixable depending on what it is.

@INeedAnotherName thank you for the solidarity with my mum! He knows it's better if he sits down but forgets (dementia) as he's never sat down for wees. He really does appreciate my mum. She doesn't want to shame him and he's quite sad about it.

@JC03745 I think it's probably the last 9 months. His hernia doesn't help. He's very, very private so it is difficult to get him to talk to a doctor about it.
I think he puts the light on at night or the motion sensor would have been a good idea.

I’m an elderly nurse and a lot of elderly men do have enlarged prostates at this age so it’s worth looking into, there is medications such as tamsulosin which can help. It means they don’t fully empty their bladder as the prostate is in the way, making toilet trips or the need to go, much more frequent

@JC03745 my mum has had help from the incontinence nurse and has now got some padded underwear. My dad doesn't want invasive investigations re prostate.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be invasive! Doctors can trial medications if they think clinically necessary, so they might trial him on the medication to see if it helps

Can,t he just wear continence pants? Wearing them doesn't mean he has to wee in them. It just means if he does wee in them, it's ok.

@Mercury2702 that's interesting to know. I'll talk to my mum about it. DF is so sad he has to take so many tablets for his Parkinson's and heart (pacemaker and atrial fibrillation) after years of never seeing a doctor I think he blames the tablets for causing all his problems! He doesn't realise the problems were there already!

Bless him and your mum, this must be affecting their quality of life and sleep a lot. Can't be easy at all. Ask their gp to refer them to a continence nurse for help and support.

@Howdull I know what you mean- I sort of think that - but he'd never do it on purpose to save getting up. They help a bit with catching it but he still gets up because he needs to go. It's very sad because he finds it embarrassing and he's obviously worn out by it.

And re washing - has your mum considered inco pads (Disposable pads to put over the middle of the bedsheet)? Used in hospitals

@Motherrr thank you ☺️- I think my mum has spoken to the continence nurse but has now been discharged- probably because my dad has said he doesn't want help from someone else with it.

Could he try a conveen?

My dad doesn't want invasive investigations re prostate. I doubt a GP would suggest this either OP!
There are medications which the GP can give to see if they reduce the size of the prostate and make urination easier and less frequent. Nothing invasive about trying meds to see if they help.

IF you DF is unlikely to see his GP, could you or your mum make an appointment for him, but use a guise of 'The GP called YOU in for a routine check-up for blood pressure, review of pills or whatever would make him attend?' It makes it feel like it was the GP that requested the visit, rather than your DF having any issue or you booking the appointment. Ideally, if you could add a note for the GP about the real reason for making the appointment would be beneficial for the GP too. Would he let you go along or does he let your mum go to appointments?

My FIL had Parkinson's and suffered the same problem. He ended up having a catheter as the unsteadiness plus dementia from Parkinson's meant his brain was telling him to wee every hour at night and he started having falls getting to and from the toilet, which my MIL struggled to lift him.
For my FIL, it was a very sad progression of his Parkinson's.
MIL tried many things before the catheter but the problem wasn't fluid intake, it was the Lewy body dementia caused by Parkinson's.