Mum needs a nursing home after car accident

[GlassLampshades]

Hello,

Can anyone point me in the direction of amazing resources, podcasts, websites etc where I can start to understand this whole new world that I've just arrived into?

My mum is late sixties and was in a car accident at the beginning of the year. She has a brain injury as a result, is currently in a specialist unit, and has been told she needs to leave as they can't do any more for her.

They advise a nursing home at mum's cost. My mum is bed bound due to the brain injury which has caused paralysis. She can use her hands and arms and can sometimes pull herself up to sit, but requires 2 / 3 people to move her. She does not use the toilet and only moves out of bed with a hoist to a chair where she sits for a few hours a day. She can hold a simple conversation but has clear cognitive issues, doesn't seem to grasp her situation, no short term memory.

I need to quickly understand how we go about financing this. My dad is also late sixties and in the family home in good health. The house is wholly unsuitable (a crumbling victorian terrace) for him and he would like to sell in the near future. The social worker says a decision needs to be made on Monday.

Oh gosh I’m sorry this sounds like a horrible situation.

my mum needed same level of care (she had a brain tumour). She had no savings (I think the criteria is that you need less than £24k in the bank but don’t quote me). She was named on mortgage but because my stepdad was living in it, this wasn’t taken into account.

my mums care was completely funded.

Also just to add, my mums funding was originally via Continuing health care CHC but then after a review (after about 12 months) it was taken away from her (basically if they live too long!) however her local authority took over the payments.

If it is because of a car accident there should be insurance to cover the lifetime costs of your mum’s care. The social worker is wrong. Was your mum insured?? Are they going to pay out?

So sad OP, I am sorry. Your Mum isn’t all that elderly, it must be so hard for you and your Dad.
I don’t know the rules in NI, but my Dad’s nursing home fees were paid by the LA as his condition was medical not old age related. Surely this is true for your Mum too ?

Hi OP,

can I suggest registering on carers.uk.org and accessing their forum. There are people on there that have a wealth of experience in situations like this. They helped me so much a few years ago when our situation became unmanageable. From negotiating social services, to finances, to benefits and discretionary trusts.

https://www.headway.org.uk/about-brain-injury/individuals/rehabilitation-and-continuing-care/continuing-care/

Some info here from Headway

From what the OP has posted then I think there is a clear case to be made that care should be at least partially if not fully funded.

The DST as I posted above makes a recommendation as to if the person has a PHN (primary healthcare need).

If they do then the recommendation is usually full funding (but it's a bloody high threshold) if not then joint funding is still a possible outcome.

At their core DST's are essentially a bun fight fight between the NHS and LA about who foots the bill.

Both the SW and Nurse Assessor will be under pressure to fight their own corner.

The OP's job is to make sure that her mother's condition is recorded accurately.

It's worth bringing as much evidence to the DST as possible. Ask for testimony from the specialist unit about her injuries and abilities (or lack of). Make sure you have all medical and rehabilitation info to hand.

Download a copy of the DST domains before the meeting and make sure you are clear how each impacts the person.

Tbh the SW should do most of this reseach but are hugely time constrained and stretched so don't assume they will.

I'm sorry you're in this position. Unless the accident was totally 100% her fault, you'll be able to make a claim for compensation which will help. The at fault insurance company should be able to do an assessment of her needs and possibly start paying interims to help fund her care.

Honestly can't thank you all enough. I have had such a good discussion with my dad based on your posts and information. We feel much better informed now and less lost and I am so glad I posted.

I will come back and update after conversations with SW etc.

Sorry for not answering questions about insurance. It's not relevant in this case unfortunately.

That's what we think but the social worker is saying things like "medically there's nothing much wrong" but we have letters from consultants outlining the medical needs. It just feels like they are dealing with her as an elderly person requiring care.

Is the car insurance not going to pay towards this?

Do not be rushed into anything

This is not up to you or your dad ‘to sort’

In the nicest way possible, DO NOT allow you dad to bring her home
This will happen way to fast , they will have a bed delivered the next day, with transport booked and he will be ill equipped to look after her, from your dads side of things, this kind of thing can not be rushed but the unit will want it rushed through

Iv been there and its awful

We did bring my mil home but that was the right thing to do for her (as there was nothing wrong with her mind, she wouldnt of coped being in a home)

I fault tooth and nail for continuous healthcare and finally got it. After weeks and HOURS of meetings and assessments.
We got 8 hours a day. The other 16 hours a day myself and partner had to cover, it was full on 24 hour day. She was fully bed bound and couldnt even really pull herself up, Oxygen support too so was extremely hard work. And we only got 8 HOURS A DAY
(Im ill & Partner was disabled at the time too)

Do not say you can pay anything.
Tell them you arent accepting her home and look into continuous healthcare or insurance through the accident
You must attend every meeting with your dad as it sounds like they will fast talk him into having her at home which is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT

Google for the chc checklist and see if your mum meets the initial criteria. (The bar is set quite low at that stage so as not to exclude people from full assessment). If she does appear to, ask the social worker to make the application.

In the meantime time, ask for a care act assessment from the social worker for your mum. She can then get the LA to identify a nursing home for you.

Do not be pushed into doing anything you don't want to do. You don't have to find a home by Monday. Your dad doesn't have to accept her home if they are relying on him to provide much of the care.

Whilst she is in the hospital you are in the strongest position to get your mum what she needs.

It gets harder once she is home.

I'm really sorry that happened to your mum.

CHC defines medical needs very clearly but the bar to actually get this funding is very high.

Just passing the checklist is only the first stage and is no guarantee of funding, just further assessment.

So things like needing to be fed, having a catheter, needing to be hoisted would not in themselves score any points for CHC.

In general social workers would like nothing more than for someone to be funded by CHC as then it doesn't come out of their budget so if they are already intimating this will be social care, you can ask for a checklist but the social worker will have a good idea of who scores on it and who doesn't.

Go and see a solicitor. Insurers need to pay out here and I'm talking millions.

I'm in England so don't know if the same but in that situation at my hospital they have temporary carehome places funded by NHS known as a 'complex discharge bed' whilst all the assessments and longterm plans are sorted out. I'm sure the social worker didn't mean it had to be resolved by Monday, just discussions have to start to get a discharge plan in place💐

OP please contact https://www.headway.org.uk/ and ask for there help to negotiate this.

my sympathy to you and your family.

If he sells they will want half the equity in the home for her care costs but if he stays in the same house they can only go after savings and investments.

You don’t want your dad unwell too, a close friend of mine, had a live in carer for her husband, he was quadriplegic, very tough, he was ok mentally.
She lost so much, house, unsuitable anyway, mortgage on it too, a year before her pension kicked in.
Your dad will struggle, your mum will be ok, and cared for, I have worked in care, feel the atmosphere, not the ‘trimmings/ decorations’, and if you can trust your gut feeling.
Hopefully you will find a choice as to where, unexpected visits, tell a lot too.
Take care and good luck, I may not be right on some things as my care days are a while back.

Harassement is a form of abuse

I've recently been through a similar situation with my dad; I see your in NI so some of what i say may differ slightly where you are, I'm in UK. Your first step would be to contact social services (who id think the hospital would have already liased with as part of her discharge plan) and organise a financial assessment, they'll want approx 3/6 month bank statements from your parents accounts and any savings.
There is a threshold in which if they have over a certain amount you pay towards the fees of the care facility, (a certain amount is protected) once it drops down to that level they will start to look at assets although because your father is fit to continue to live in the home in not sure they could do much in regards to the property, they can't make him homeless.

It's an extremely sad situation, my father lived alone and we're having to sell his flat. He'll loose pretty much everything he's work all his life for. (He also had a brain injury and is somewhat similar to your mum) x

Nsky62,
? how does your comment relate to the quotation ?

Yes, this

That's what we think but the social worker is saying things like "medically there's nothing much wrong" but we have letters from consultants outlining the medical needs. It just feels like they are dealing with her as an elderly person requiring care.

This is why you need to get evidence from the specialist facility that her condition is the result of a brain injury.

Tbh I'm surprised this is the response from the SW. From a CHC funding perspective they should be pressing the medical care needs.

You need to be very clear about the difference in your mother's presentation before and after the accident - this is not about age (which is social care) but injury (which is medical).

Don't let them pressure you into making a decision for Monday! They say that as they are under pressure on resources/hospital beds etc.