Advice and opinions on care homes please

[FrazzledFrazzled]

Hi everyone
Îm looking for advice for our Mum who is very physically fit but has (at least ) moderate vascular dementia . A move to residential care is becoming more and more necessary sadly. My question is , is it better to move straight to a nursing home or a residential one? Any other advice very welcome too ! Thanks everyone ,

Are there any homes which offer both residential and nursing care locally? PIL have been in a residential home for 2 1/2 years, but MIL was taken ill a few months ago and has deteriorated health wise. Because the home offered both services she has been able to remain in the same home, in the same room with her husband but is now under the nursing care team. I believe that this has been beneficial and has been less confusing and upsetting for her than having to move to a different home. The home may come to carry out their own assessment and may offer advice, I would have a look at a few, make some enquiries and ask the question.

Thankyou.

Same - choose one that offers both.

Think about what your Mum's personality and preferred activities/choices have been. Is she very sociable, very solitary (my mum is lovely and polite so everyone likes her but she actually hates socialising and much prefers plants), does she love music, babies, religion, beer...? Think about that when looking. But fundamentally I think being as close as you can is really good - if you can drop in more often (whatever that looks like) it's better for them and will mean better care. I wouldnt choose a home I hated just because it is close (there's one ten minutes from me that I wouldn't keep a dog in) but convenient is good. I also think it is absolutely vital to like and trust the manager. If you get a bad vibe, go elsewhere.

Unless she actually needs nursing care, residential is all she needs for now - either a specialist dementia CH or one with a dementia wing. She might never need an actual nursing home - my DM ( Alzh) was in hers for 8 years until 97 and never did.
We have been through all this twice(FIL too) and IMO the only way to find the right CH is to visit as many as poss until one feels right.

Re moving homes if necessary, FIL later had to move to a nursing home but TBH his dementia was well advanced by then and I honestly don’t think he even noticed. Ditto an aunt, who had to move from an ordinary residential home to one with a dementia wing, when her increasing Alzh. started giving problems with other residents - going into other people’s rooms, taking their things, etc.
We were worried as to how she’d take the move but TBH she barely seemed to notice.
Good luck - it’s such a worrying time.