Persuading elderly parent to buy a new car

[NetZeroZealot]

Mum is 85 with arthritis in her shoulder. Her car is over 20 years old. Lives rurally and totally reliant on it, and has to drive my even older dad around.
She knows she needs to buy a 'new' car - an automatic which will put less strain on her shoulder - but is terrified of learning her way around an unfamiliar vehicle.
Her (younger) friend had to do this recently & has put Mum off by telling her how impossible it is to understand the computerised controls in the car etc.
Mum manages OK with internet, online shopping etc so I think she'll be able to adapt, but she doesn't think she can.
Anyone been through this, got any helpful advice?
Thanks

Why shouldn't she carry on driving? You cannot make sweeping generalisations based solely on someone's age. OP has confirmed that her mother is a safe and competent driver.
My 86 year old mother still drives, and drives perfectly safely, I haven't noticed any reduction in her abilities or reaction times. When you've been driving for almost 70 years you've got a hell of a lot more experience on the roads than some 17 year old kid in their first car and no one tells them they should stop driving.

I prefer an automatic and have found that there are garages that specialise in buying ex Motability cars, which are often small automatics. They are well maintained and can be great cars. Have a look on Autotrader, search for Automatic, and low power, then see which local (ish) garages have a few. If you take your Mum, then she should be able to have a look and see which ones feel right for her.

This.

Christ.

There is very little chance an 85 yo with arthritis is a safe driver, and zero chance she will be in a few years time.

Don't get fixated on this being the way things have to be. You need to start supporting her to find other options.

There's a middle ground between removing her independence totally by not having a car vs offering her a new car with too many bells and whistles : its been said already but an automatic version of her current car for now to keep her familiarity with the model would be a good idea. But, and it's a big one, there has to be a convo around plan B when the time comes, which it will, when driving is no longer an option for her.
My parent in law still drives, at 87, and is very competent, but I'm not entirely comfortable about it, as 87 is 87, and reaction times, hearing etc are definitely compromised at that age.

I think 85 is too old to change to auto
I’d be terrified she it would run away with her or she’d press the wrong pedal and cause an accident

the internet is full of videos of pensioners cars ploughing into shop fronts

listen to her she’s 85 I realise it would be difficult without a car but safety trumps convenience

We had this with my dad, stuck with what he knew, which was a Toyota Yaris.

I would try and get the automatic version of what she's in now.

If that's not an option then check where the basic controls are and try and have them mainly in the same place.

I would just observe that a 20 year old car is not necessarily about to drop dead, I kept my dads 2004 Yaris when he died and I've done 20k miles in 2 years in it and it's absolutely great - now at 73k in the clock! There's less to go wrong/be buggered up by a parent on the older cars, so I wouldn't rule them out.

My mother bought a brand new car at 82. She only drove it for two years and has sold it to a family member and stopped driving. She had already stopped driving at night and in the last 6 moths of driving only went to the shop and back or to my house. She's glad she stoped and I go by and take her where she needs to go like Dr's Bank etc she only goes out about once a week now.

Sadly, however confident she is as a driver, she is 85 and has arthritis, which will almost certainly mean that any car will be too heavy for her before too long. I would seriously think about other options - taxis for short journeys, hospital transport where necessary. Are you in a position where you will be able to drive your parents where necessary? I do understand that this is a symbol of independence, but there comes a time when driving is too much. This is why insurance premiums are so high for very elderly drivers.

Would she consider an electric car? Easy to drive and very suitable for short local journies. A big advantage is being able to get the windows defrosted and the inside nice and warm using an app on her smart phone. That would save a person with arthritis getting too cold.

Electric is a much bigger adjustment than an ordinary automatic.

I recently bought a new car and avoided an automatic. I test drove one and couldn't get used to it. Just habit, no doubt, but I didn't feel safe. I'm a good driver generally and happy to go anywhere.

I actually tried to sell them my EV 3 years ago. It was too big an adjustment for them!