Is this elder abuse?

[marshmallowboy]

My sibling gets my parents mail. I tried to take them to the post office to get it sent to them and my mum was keen but my dad literally sat down and said no until it had been cleared with my sibling.
Sibling has also taken a large and small asset.
Parents just say
"oh yes that's probably what they did." No problem . They appear to be nervous of the siblings reactions. I am walking away.I've rung a hotline 3 times and they were going to call back but havent.
No idea what else to do.
.

Ring adult social services. You can do this anonymously. I’ve had this with a sibling. They took large amounts of money from our parents having got POA after controlling the post. You can also contact the Office of the Public guardian to check if a POA is in place and if one is, you can report concerns.

My experience was that SS will not do anything if your parents have capacity or agree they have given permission for your sibling to do what they have done. No parent likes to admit that their child has stolen/manipulated/lied to them so be prepared for them to deny anything untoward has happened.

First step, do they have capacity?

You are not wrong to be concerned.

@marshmallowboy could your sibling be massively out of pocket for things they are doing for your parents? Are you able to talk to them directly and ask?

Obviously I don’t know your situation and that may not be the case but I’ve been spending a fortune of my own money both before and after POA came through because DF has very little in liquid assets.

Last Spring I made a £££ payment on his behalf for equipment in a mobility shop because his card was declined. At that point I worked out he was not actually capable of sending me a payment back himself any more.

Do your parents appear to be scared of your sibling or do they lack capacity in relation to managing their finances?

Do your parents have care and support needs? Do they have carers, formally or this could be family?

If so you could certainly raise a safeguarding concern with your local authority.

As someone above said though if they have capacity it may not go anywhere.

How did you come to this conclusion? Elder abuse...abuse is abuse what's with the elder part? Sounds like people making thinks up nowadays. It sounds like your parents are competent enough to have an input in matters that concern them...if anything there's probably been psychological abuse on both parts others if you thought your siblings were abusing their power in regards to your parents it's probably because your parents a covert manipulators, enabling their behaviour..especially if your father is "we have to run things by the siblings" Theirs abuse on both ends

try and get power of attorney his mother has this now just got it before she got diagnosed with Alzheimer's sil she does everything with the bills etc I do not trust her or his brother one bit they are financially well off, money big house car everything they could want very good with things like that hope they don't do anything like you say she has already been coned by a friend at work when her husband died when we got together years ago lost her house silly fell out with his brother at the time new he was a sleeze she would not listen now they get on like a house on fire I do not go near her house gives me horrible looks and i get upset by the woman but I do not trust the in-laws one little bit.

Need more info really. Do you parents have a mental impairment (or one does and the other struggles to manage paperwork etc) which is possibly why your sibling has redirected mail? Is there a history etc from your sibling behaving in a way to have abused potentially your parents? Could assets possibly been sold to pay for things? What's the state of your parents finances? What's your relationship like with sibling & parents...can this not be discussed in more depth; why sibling is taking control like this?

I think given scarce info the wrong conclusions could be drawn. You need to explore things further yourself if you don't know the answers or if you have drawn this conclusion through additional info you have pls share 👍👍. Your right to be delving further into this though 👍

Gosh!

Have you spoken to your sibling directly as these concerns could, hopefully, be huge assumptions on your part.