What's the best way to communicate to GP about parent - letter or physical appointment in the surgery

[Stotar]

My mother is not well. She's not physically sick. It's all mental stuff. I reckon it's dementia. She's not behaving right.

What's the best way to communicate to the GP.

Write a letter or make an appointment with the GP.

Both me and my mother attend the same practice and have the same GPs.

Aggression that's not making any sense is one of her symptoms.

I think what's happening is that she's acting in front of visitors that we have and any time she gets a free patch away from them, she's throwing abuse at me.

She asked me this morning to show her how to cook a cook in the bag chicken. I gave her instructions and afterwards she barked abuse at me - 'that wasn't so hard now was it?????' - it was completely uncalled for.

Both would work but I would write a letter as you can put so much down and it's a much more reliable way of getting it in the notes. I wrote to my dad's GP recently about a hospital admission and getting him to agree dad didn't need high BP tablets. It was high in hospital but came down at home! I am(was) also a GP and used to get letters like this. I'd usually phone the relative and try and work together with everyone to get a good solution. I got better at this as I got older as you realise how difficult it is when you have elderly relatives. (My dad is 92 and FIL 96) both independent but need guidance.

When my mum first began to develop dementia I spoke to her GP at length on the phone. He contacted her and asked her to come in for a routine well woman check, so that he could carry out the initial dementia screening. He was extremely discrete and my mum had no idea I had instigated the appointment.

This is only really possible if the person you're talking about has given their consent to discuss them. It's a bit of a dodgy area, ethically (as is doing a dementia assessment secretly!).
Writing a letter to the GP is fine because it's one-way communication from you and they aren't sharing any information.

I spoke to my DM's GP about her because I wasn't confident that a letter would be read, but I made it clear that I wanted only to "share concerns" and not discuss her. I made notes before the call so I didn't forget anything. The GP could listen.

When my Mum started to show signs of Dementia - I rang my Mums GP for an appointment and explained the situation with the receptionist. They were happy to arrange a joint appointment. Further downstream I would have to regular telephone consults around her repeat prescriptions.