Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Divisive Comments

5 replies

Q105 · 22/06/2024 08:17

PIL aren’t even very elderly, in their 70s. But are increasingly isolating themselves and SIL is losing the will to intervene.

They say some really outrageous things and are completely comfortable with alienating their children. My husband and SIL have done an awful lot to help them financially, emotionally, practically, and it is seems to be expected.

Is this it, is this just accepted once parents become aged and miserable? COVID hit them hard and they are still struggling to adjust to this ‘dangerous’ health environment. Their NHS trust is fortuitously really good and they get an appointment any time they need to see someone, so they are adamant they won’t move, so we can’t be geographically closer, adding to alienation. They’re 200mi away and we have young kids etc.

It seems that they cause some scene every time they come to visit. They will be seemingly having a great stay, then as they’re about to leave for home, will completely kibosh it with some outrageous declaration!!

frustrated and semi-concerned

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 22/06/2024 08:21

Sounds normal in my experience. But I wouldn’t be happy about family money going to them. Is it a lot of money?

Q105 · 22/06/2024 08:25

Thousands. More my SIL and BIL. My husband’s parents both have anxious depression and retired far too early. They now have a lifetime mortgage. They draw pensions but live far beyond their means and are constantly struggling to service a car, cover the gas bill etc etc.
My husband helps out but my SIL has bailed them out so much over the years. I know it’s ’what Family do’, but neither of my parents would dream of asking. And if I offered they would pay me back.
This makes the weird comments so much worse to me!

OP posts:
SquishyGloopyBum · 22/06/2024 08:55

I think you need to stop enabling them. Lending so much money isn't just what families do.

Neolara · 22/06/2024 08:58

What kind of comments do they make?!

NoBinturongsHereMate · 22/06/2024 19:53

This isn't inevitable at all.

My father got more amenable and easygoing as he got older and frailer. My mum and stepdad are as lovely and sociable now as they've ever been (although less keen on big parties - partly because of hearing difficulties). And my partner's parents haven't changed character either. They’ve slowed down because of health problems but not beome unkind or miserable. All of them have also remained financially responsible.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread