Losing patience with my mother

[teenboymom]

My mother is 70, has kidney disease and a couple of stents. She is close to needing dialysis as in will prob be in next year or two. She is on a few different meds plus takes sleeping tablet.

She is very tired with the kidney disease, I do understand that but if I suggest anything other then just letting her give out, she gets annoyed with me. Her diet is awful and she does no exercise but I have stopped suggesting these things as she gets defensive.

Anyway, she is obsessed with side effects and googling different things. I get weekly texts about something she has googled and that she wants to come off such a such a medication because it causes some side effect.

She has been getting dizzy spells for a few weeks but has low iron and is awaiting an infusion in next couple of weeks. Doc said this is prob reason for it. She has gone through her meds and found that one she is on causes dizziness and wants to come off it!!! I just text back saying, if you google any side effect of any drug dizziness will be one of them..anyway again she has texted back really sarcastically saying don't worry about her, forget about it etc that she doesn't trust doctors etc. how should I react when she bounces these things off me?

I'm just fed up as I'm her sounding board, I get all the negativity and moaning. I see her most days and most days she is giving out but yet never moans to anyone else. She says it herself that she just complains to me and I just feel fed up with it.

I feel bad because she is single and obviously has health concerns but I'm just so sick of getting these stupid texts when she knows I don't agree!

My Mum is the Queen of self diagnosis and changes her meds/doses like the wind changes direction. Now she gets a "Oh dear Mum, that sounds worrying, you'd better book to see the Dr" which she will never do but it acknowledges her worry and also stops her engaging in further conversation about it. I used to get so stressed worrying about her, but now am completely hands off and let her get on with it. It may sound uncaring but it was seriously pushing me over the edge of the cliff trying to manage her. Now I just let GP do it!

Lots of great tips here, will defo stick to just a neutral response from now on. Also o used to suffer with health anxiety, for a year after having my dc and when I think of it, no amount of people telling me I was ok reassured me I was ok! The difference was that I could rationalise unless in panic attack and also I didn't everything to make myself better. I exercised and saw gp, etc

Thanks, I feel better having vented on here. My brother and I aren't close so feel I've anyone to chat with about it who can relate. Dh is very straight with his mother.