81 yo mother diagnosed with early stage alzheimers, what to expect, how to plan?

[falstaff1980]

After a few years of it being called MCI, my mother has now been diagnosed with Alzheimers and put on donepezil. She still just about manages on her own at home most of the time, but someone does see her daily (usually me), and she'll usually also phone at least once a day because of some mishap, lost item, difficulties with the smart TV etc.

I've read the NHS advice on Alzheimers mid and late stage and it looks pretty horrific, I'm thinking best to sell the house and get her in a good care home before we get to that point, but not too soon that she runs out of money to pay for the good care home. Wondering how to judge when is the right time, any tells to look out for. A friend of mine's mother the switch from managing on her own to needing fulltime care seemed to happen overnight, like a switch flipped.

Have you spoken to the Alzheimer's Society? They are extremely helpful. Would also be a good idea to get involved with a support group. Others will share their experiences of when it was the right time to move to a facility.
Sending compassion - this is not an easy road.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

Do you have POA for her? If not sort that asap while she still has capacity for it.

It's an unpredictable marathon - do lots of research and tap into every resource you can as early as possible so you are prepared as things progress.

MY Mum was getting in buses and going into town and not remembering where she went and Dad couldn’t stop her and couldn’t cope anymore. It’s the worst thing I have done in my life putting her in a home. Felt like such a betrayal and she was like a trusting small child. She knew who we were still but once in the home her memory went down hill really quickly. She has no idea who we are now. I suppose it all depends on when she becomes a danger to herself.

Both my parents have dementia: dad has early stage Alzheimer’s and my mum is mid stage FTD.

They’re both at home, with two one-hour visits from carers a day. There’s a great local dementia charity that has a lots of activities during the week that they go to.

With early stage Alzheimer’s, here’s what I’d suggest.

Make sure both POAs are sorted

Get yourself registered with local carers charity (I always assumed you had to be a full time carer, but that’s not the case)

Get carers or Home Help in. Daily or to help with things like getting to activities.

Get in touch with any local dementia charities. I would avoid the big national ones, found them useless. See what’s available that’s available to your mum socially etc choirs, cafes.

If you have an Age Uk, def worth getting in touch with. They have a Home Help service that is cheaper than carers, but could still do things like take to activities.

Get Social Services Needs Assessment. Really useful, will signpost to other services where necessary, such as emergency alarms.

Care Homes obviously part of your thinking, but not always necessary, and often not this early. Neither of my parents want to go in home. My siblings and I really had to be honest with ourselves about how much our view of what they needed was shaped by our own needs (eg worry!)

Good luck. My dad is early stage, but is mostly fine. I try to help him by troubleshooting stuff he finds difficult - usually house admin, now tech too.