Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Just reported my dad missing...

26 replies

Persipan · 13/05/2024 23:11

... to two different police forces; the one where I think he physically is, and then they put me across to the one for where he lives to take the full report. Had an extremely confused phone call from him talking about how he didn't know where he lived or where I live, that he was in a particular area which we moved away from almost 40 years ago, and that he intended to stay with his sister, who died a year ago and hadn't lived in that area for even longer. I have had some suspicions of cognitive decline for a while but this is very much worse so I'm wondering whether he has a UTI. Sigh. They are hopeful of picking him up on the traffic cameras so with a bit of luck he'll actually get home soon, at which point I shall be on to his GP.

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 13/05/2024 23:13

How worrying for you. I hope he's found soon.

WearyAuldWumman · 13/05/2024 23:14

Thinking of you.

Many years ago, my grandfather wandered off during the night to a place where he used to go for walks.

By then it was a building site for a petrochemical plant. He was picked up by security and given a cup of tea. Police took him home.

Please update us when you can. Sending hugs.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 13/05/2024 23:14

Hoping he is found safe asap. Do you have someone with you for support OP? X

Persipan · 13/05/2024 23:15

A swift update - he's now called my brother, (who earlier was trying without success to convince him that he lives in X Street) and wondered whether the guy who lives in X Street would let him stay there tonight. My brother has agreed that he's sure that will be okay and is heading to my dad's house in hopes that he shows up there.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 13/05/2024 23:16

Oh goodness what a worry. I hope he turns up safe soon

DoreenonTill8 · 13/05/2024 23:16

How horrible and frightening for you @Persipan hope he's back with you soon.

betterangels · 13/05/2024 23:17

That's so worrying. Hope he is found safe and soon.

Persipan · 13/05/2024 23:19

DoreenonTill8 · 13/05/2024 23:16

How horrible and frightening for you @Persipan hope he's back with you soon.

I actually live a couple of hundred miles away from him, but fortunately my brother is in the same town so there's someone close enough to potentially help.

OP posts:
CitizenZ · 13/05/2024 23:20

I'm so sorry to hear this. My Gran (an avid walker in her time) went walking in woods and got lost and they had to get the Police helicopters to find her... But find her they did, and she got fully assessed which family had been wanting for some time, and then got full support and was looked after properly and happily.

I hope they locate him quick and my thoughts are with you xx

funnelfan · 14/05/2024 00:05

Fingers crossed he is found soon.

When he is, get your brother to look at your dads phone and set it up so it shares location with one or both of you so if he wanders again you’ve an idea of where he is.

FloofyKat · 14/05/2024 00:09

Goodness, how worrying. I hope he’s soon found safe and well. It sounds as if he might need some medical intervention and some memory clinic type checks. This incident might help with accessing this kind of support.

IHateLegDay · 14/05/2024 00:26

Contact the local taxi services and give a description. We had a neighbour with dementia who went missing a few times and the taxis always found her before the police did.
I hope your dad is found safe xxx

FictionalCharacter · 14/05/2024 00:28

Traffic cameras? He isn’t driving is he?!

ShrubRose · 14/05/2024 00:39

The Herbert Protocol is a scheme in which you file information about someone vulnerable - their photograph, their next-of-kin, their home address, where they might go, etc. - with the local police to give them a head start in case they need to look for them. Possibly this would be helpful to you going forward.

Wandering is a heartache.

https://www.agespace.org/herbert-protocol#:~:text=What%20is%20the%20Herbert%20Protocol,dementia%20in%20a%20care%20home.

The Herbert Protocol: For when a vulnerable person goes missing

The Herbert Protocol can help you and the police find someone with Dementia who has gone missing whilst out.

https://www.agespace.org/herbert-protocol#:~:text=What%20is%20the%20Herbert%20Protocol,dementia%20in%20a%20care%20home.

RookieMa · 14/05/2024 00:44

Has he been found ?

FlickDrink · 14/05/2024 01:18

Have they put out his details on SM in the town? Hope he has already been found or that he will be found very soon.

Persipan · 14/05/2024 05:29

FictionalCharacter · 14/05/2024 00:28

Traffic cameras? He isn’t driving is he?!

Afraid so!

They have apparently located his car and pulled him over, and my brother has gone off to pick him up.

OP posts:
LadyEloise1 · 14/05/2024 07:11

I'm glad they have found him @Persipan
The relief must be immense.

DoreenonTill8 · 14/05/2024 08:01

What a relief @Persipan ! Hopefully this will trigger a vulnerable adult referral and an assessment.

FictionalCharacter · 14/05/2024 08:58

Persipan · 14/05/2024 05:29

Afraid so!

They have apparently located his car and pulled him over, and my brother has gone off to pick him up.

That's terrible, given his level of cognitive decline.

FlickDrink · 14/05/2024 10:06

If this is found to have been caused by a temporary issue like a UTI then maybe you can add a few airtags to his keys, wallet or coat or whatever.

Persipan · 14/05/2024 11:11

He is apparently now impressed at the level of accuracy my brother has put into recreating his house, so still pretty confused I'd say...

OP posts:
I8toys · 14/05/2024 12:30

ShrubRose · 14/05/2024 00:39

The Herbert Protocol is a scheme in which you file information about someone vulnerable - their photograph, their next-of-kin, their home address, where they might go, etc. - with the local police to give them a head start in case they need to look for them. Possibly this would be helpful to you going forward.

Wandering is a heartache.

https://www.agespace.org/herbert-protocol#:~:text=What%20is%20the%20Herbert%20Protocol,dementia%20in%20a%20care%20home.

Edited

We've filled these in for my inlaws with dementia. Very helpful to have on hand just in case.

Persipan · 14/05/2024 12:49

The GP seems to be being very thorough and has ordered urine and blood tests and a brain scan to rule out any physical causes and then will move on to considering chronic memory issues if and when those are ruled out. So that's all positive progress.

OP posts:
Persipan · 29/05/2024 22:11

So by way of an update, they now seem to be leaning towards either frontotemporal or vascular dementia - which is obviously not the news he was hoping for but I suppose does at least give us the opportunity to plan for his likely longer-term needs with more information and hopefully a bit of time.

Meanwhile we also uncovered a literal mound of unattended-to bills and other paperwork needing to be sorted out, some of them quite substantial and/or serious. Financially he had the means to resolve them all perfectly readily, but actually doing it, less so, it seems. Hey-ho.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread