First experience of care funding

[Explorerdarkmatter]

Well…this has been an unpleasant couple of days. Elderly Family member previously cared for by another family member. The carer has been very ill and cannot provide the 24/7 care needed. Spoke to the social worker to discuss care home fees - response was that perhaps a care package at home would be better - say four visits a day. For someone who is blind nearly deaf immobile and incontinent.

the story has moved on over the course of the day and I am hopeful we are moving towards the correct outcome which is residential care.

the social worker was doing her best - everyone involved is doing their best. But my word when this was offered as a possible solution my jaw dropped. Elderly vulnerable completely unable to look after herself and sufficient care could possibly be outside carers coming in four times a day. It was admitted this may mean she spends a lot her time sitting in her own waste. But lots of people have to do that apparently??

as I said, we are moving towards the right answer but…it makes me very scared to get old and have to rely on the state.

Sadly it's really common. A care home is only suggested if four visits a day isn't enough, and it's like that has to be tried first to "prove" the care home is necessary.

The four care visits a day also tends to assume that "someone" will still be doing some oversight of all this - possibly shopping, checking for out of date food in fridge (carers are variable), checking bed has been changed and laundry done, managing and organising house maintenance, making sure utility etc bills are paid.

Sadly, as your relative has solely been cared for by family so far, SS will likely want to try a 4x daily care package initially. It’s actually unusual for someone who is so high needs to have only been supported by family without any paid carers visiting.
Its a complete shit show!

Ìt is a shit show - the four times a day consists of a quick 20 minute visit doing next to nothing. We would then get calls inbetween the carer visits to cook food, turn the tv on, clean up after a toilet mess and sleep overnight as MIL needed nighttime care ..... none of this is considered in the "4 times a day" calls.

Thank you - it’s difficult because you are dealing with people who indicate they know it isn’t right but their hands are tied and have to follow the policy.

I don’t know - getting older now scares me.

There are safe-guarding rules and NICE guidelines to wield @Explorerdarkmatter, I’ve had to become very hard-hearted with the professionals and prioritise the person with the needs that family cannot meet.

It really is an eye opener when you have to start dealing with SS the strain of dealing with my DF and SS.made me ill. We were being assaulted by DF who's dementia had deteriorated and the answer from SS initially was never be alone with him. That meant that we had to take turns staying with DP whilst trying to manage work, family and home it was completely unsustainable, I wish you luck OP

If SS hasn't had prior involvement they would need to assess need and explore all option's, including staying at home with care visits. Moving to a care home is a big decision to make in someone's life. As a previous sw I had to mention all option's even if I knew they weren't going to work, just to check it out. And care homes aren't always the cheaper option. Having said that the '4 visits a day ' policy drives me mad, I don't think it has a legal basis and I had it with my own DF on his hospital discharge.

I wish the government would look at us being charged some sort of care tax. I know people will scream they might not need it so dont want to pay but my DF was paying not just his own fees but parts of other residents costs too.

As we pat ourselves on the back about how our elderies are doing so well at 905, 100 or more. Its going to get worse. We can keep people alive much longer than say 30 years ago so we do. We seriously need to either look at assisted dying which has gone very quiet or LA's start going bankrupt with all these charges. Of course they do model on what to expect but you only need 1 or 2 people to completely busy the budget.

How did your relative manage 24hr care on their own? Any reason SS weren't involved before? Did they refuse extra support?

I'm going through this with my FIL. He had a stoke months ago and the hospital want to move him back home. He is bedbound but can be hoisted into a chair with support. They are also saying 4 carers a day, so if he needs the loo at night, he will sat in excrement burning his skin for 10hrs! Absolutely horrific IMO.