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Elderly parents

Police involvement

5 replies

Patsy7299 · 05/05/2024 18:43

Hi all! Firstly thanks for the helpful comments on my last thread. I decided to go my holiday. However it’s been rocky. After 4 years of ignoring my mum her sisters asked to see her. I said yes and asked them to contact me to arrange. My cousin that I once trusted took it upon himself to hand out the key box code and they’ve been letting themselves in (I own property) without telling me. I asked them in a group chat to stop but was ignored. They broke the keys and I had to get a new key box fitted and change code.

Unfortunately, when my son was at work and with me away, cousin went to my mums door and started banging on it when he couldn’t get access to key box. We had an argument on the phone and he threatened to phone police and take her to my aunts house. My son gave him code to stop the upsetting of my mum. I have council carers in 3 times a day, plus my son visiting every day and overnight private carers. I was distraught last night and text private carer to see how she was. DM was chatting away and having a cuppa with her. I’m considering calling police myself now as they are causing her (and us) distress. Has anyone done this and could I get a restraining order? Thanks again and hope your troubles are easing!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 05/05/2024 19:01

What the hell is your cousin playing at? What is he hoping to gain by this nonsense. Is he very bored to have so much time to cause trouble like this.
You’ve changed the locks? He can no longer gain access?
Next he goes round and starts creating I would phone the police.

Patsy7299 · 05/05/2024 19:04

Smartiepants79 · 05/05/2024 19:01

What the hell is your cousin playing at? What is he hoping to gain by this nonsense. Is he very bored to have so much time to cause trouble like this.
You’ve changed the locks? He can no longer gain access?
Next he goes round and starts creating I would phone the police.

I changed key box code but my son was at work and he phoned him saying my mum was upset (from other side of door) and he gave him the code. He knows he shouldn’t have but panicked. I’m going to police when I get home, thank you.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 05/05/2024 19:07

Threatening to phone the police and have her removed from your care is not panicking.
His behaviour is decidedly weird.

Patsy7299 · 05/05/2024 19:10

Smartiepants79 · 05/05/2024 19:07

Threatening to phone the police and have her removed from your care is not panicking.
His behaviour is decidedly weird.

It was my son who panicked and gave him code bcos he (cousin) was telling him she was distressed but you’re so right, it’s beyond weird.

OP posts:
DumbledoresWand · 06/05/2024 10:50

How upsetting and frustrating for you! You have put everything in place for care for your mum
I would be reminding your cousin that you own the property that your mum lives in, and that visiting by him, or anyone else is to be arranged through you. It sounds like your son did what he thought was best at the time, and not wanting to cause any distress for his Nan, gave them the code.
My only concern from that might be that the cousin had another key cut whilst he was in possession of the code for the key box.
I would seek advice from the police, especially as its a property that you own.

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