Apologies to start, but this is a little bit of a rant. I don't really know how to deal with with this. This is in the e-mail I get from my father every morning.
To give a little background, I live abroad in a culture that is very family and community based. My parents are living in very individualistic culture, close to my sister who does the bare minimum to help them. They are living (beyond their means) in a very expensive retirement/nursing facility. Years ago, when my children were small my parents travelled to visit me. In spite of being completely jaded from running around after my two small kids while my husband was away working, they expected me to bring them everywhere sightseeing, refused to walk or use public transport, and didn't offer to help me in the house or with the kids. Exactly the same when I flew out to visit them. I was expected to take care of my own transportation, mind the kids, accommodate their schedule.
The last five years, I went through an infidelity leading up to divorce and basically have had a horrendous couple of years. My parents basically said very little and said "oh, well, you're strong"... So now, every day when I get this message I feel enraged. I feel like, why don't they ask me "how are you?" "How do you feel, how are you doing?"
Also, I am six months into a new job which is very good but which it's going to be really difficult to get time off from to see them this coming year. They expect me to come out to visit, and do some finance and admin work for them. I really don't know what I am going to do.
I know this sounds a bit ungrateful and of course I'm feeling guilty (this is nothing compared to what many of you have posted), but really "we're fine!!!!"