Vermin in DP loft

[TellEmAboutTheHoneyMummy]

My parents are mid 70s. I have been trying to get them to move from an enormous house to a smaller one for years. They live in the middle of nowhere with no shops. DM has some mobility issues and lifelong mood swings that cause panic and anxiety. DD is fitter but bless him he is getting on and not as strong as he was.

They have very little disposable income. Repairs are becoming necessary for the house. Vermin have got into the loft and are gnawing holes in the soffits.

I found a lovely house for them a few times now, modern, and easy to care for, but on those occasions I was told they want to stay where they are. I am worried they will have less for their care when they do have to sell if they leave it much longer. Downsizing may not be an option at that point and a care home might be the only option.

They have loads of stuff.

The stress and worry keeps me up at night.

Has anyone had success persuading elderly parents to move somewhere safer before it is too late?

Get the pest control to deal with the problem. At least that will be one less worry.

I don’t think you are going to have much luck with getting them to move until there is a crisis, unfortunately, that is the general experience anyway.

Try to think that they are adults , and still capable of making decisions (even the wrong ones) for themselves.; you can’t live their lives for them. Have you discussed POA? You never know, you might achieve it.

TS Eliot says ‘Teach us to care, and not to care.
’Teach us to sit still. ‘ 💐

If anyone has the answer to this please let me know. DH is having a breakdown because I am having the bedroom re-decorated. He won’t even talk about moving.
On the topic of vermin, we put chicken wire right round the house under the eaves after we were infested.

I tried 15 years ago to get my parents to downsize nearer to us when Catboy was little. They wouldn’t hear of it. Now they are still in a four bed ex council house in a deprived town with a garden that is completely beyond them and the house is a mess inside and out. 87 and 95. My mother has always had problems with clutter, hoarding and mood swings, and it’s an absolute nightmare as Dad keeps falling over stuff.

But I recognised reality and knew they wouldn’t move so I stopped trying to persuade them and instead got them to make some adaptations. They have a new bathroom with a walk in shower, and a stairlift - both a couple of years old now so they’ve got some value and use out of them. The house is still dirty and they won’t get a cleaner but that’s another conversation that I have about every three months… 🙄

There's no magically easy to get them to downsize unfortunately. I wish there was.

But they really need to get exterminators in due to the risk the rates pose. I had to deal with similar with my grandmother and the rat I kept seeing was massive and could have really done her damage had it got into room as her mobility was minimal.

MotherOfCatBoy I feel for you. Adaption and moving into a small part of the house or living downstairs may work…

Jujubeez I have sent them exterminator details, thank you.

That might be the next stage… we’ll see.