Elderly mum in Uk, me abroad

[Katesyd]

Hi, background is I grew up in the Uk but have lived abroad over 30 years my mum is 94, lives alone in the UK and is starting to need a little extra help.
she has polymyalgia rheumatica which causes painful joints and makes mobility hard, although most days she gets around her home ok.
I think she’d benefit from regular home visits just to check she’s ok, maybe do a few chores, go shopping for her as needed. She has no other family support around.
ive no idea what support she could be entitled to, or what could be set up, I’m completely out of the loop with UK systems. She’s reasonably ok financially. I live in Australia, try to visit twice a year but it’s hard. Any advice gratefully received. Thank you.

Hi Kate, I am going to send you a PM.

If she’s ok financially you probably won’t get anything really. We certainly didn’t for my mum even when she broke her shoulder and various other issues in her late 80s.

How does she cope now with self care and survival? with things like repairs and maintenance, changing beds, buying contents insurance, unpacking heavy shopping, getting to the optician and dentist etc? What would happen if she fell and was injured? Does she have a raised toilet seat with grab handles? Is she managing to wash?

How do you know she is “fine” - is she just saying that? I’ve known much younger people say that, just to avoid “being a nuisance”.

When did you last visit? What is her housing situation?

Thanks for the replies.
i know that she manages quite well because I speak to her frequently. Last saw her in November and due again in June. I’m just worried about her for the future and want to know the options.
she simply doesn’t go to GP, optician etc, luckily apart from the polymyalgia she’s in good health. She refuses to wear any kind of personal alarm.

if I wanted to arrange even private home help how would I go about it?

Look at hiring a personal assistant. They currently cost around £23 per hour. You employ them directly for whatever tasks she needs help with.

Different situation as I was able to visit weekly, but we used a local home care company like Home Instead, to provide whatever help my mum needed. Initially this was once a week mostly cleaning (she has never had a cleaner) - but companionship also very important- and we increased the days as needed, including short visits to check she was ok and had eaten. They could have gone to the shops for her or taken her somewhere if we had needed (you would have to book enough time to allow for delays at eg the GP as the carers had tight schedules).

Contact Age UK in her area, they’ll be able to give advice.

Does your mum want more help? She sounds like she has capacity, so your first step will be to speak with her and see what she thinks.

Where is she in the UK? Do you mean England? There are different rules / procedures regarding care in the different nations.

It doesn’t sound like she needs help with personal care - washing, dressing, eating, drinking, taking medication, toileting, etc.

if she doesn’t have family nearby, what about friends and / neighbours? My parents live in a small, rural place with a lot of retired / older people living alone. They have a pretty good informal network of checking on each other, offering lifts to dr appointments, getting together at one house for a mobile hairdresser to visit etc.

I would second contacting Age UK. We were referred to them by a hospital when FIL was discharged.

Where do you find these? I've only found carers.
Personal assistant would be better.
Where can I find one?

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Given me useful info to consider.

The following answers assume England or Wales. The situation in Scotland & Northern Ireland is similar but may use different names and vary a bit in the details.

If she has more than £23k in savings she won't qualify for paid help.

However, if she needs physical assistance she might well qualify for attendance allowance - which is not means tested. This can be used towards getting paid care, or anything else that improves her quality of life - getting taxis instead of the bus, day clubs for socialising, online shopping or meal deliveries, home visits from opticians, a cleaner, whatever is useful to her. They don't audit what it's spent on.

She can also get a free assessment from locacouncil l adult social services team, who can assess whether or not she needs care even if she's above the funding threshold for them paying for it. They can also check whether she needs any adaptations to the house - grab rails for the shower, raised loo seats etc. They can supply and fit these free or at a subsided cost, or loan moveable equipment.

Get Poa in place!

This is some info for Buckinghamshire, I guess you're best off looking for the services in her area. Sorry I can't remember the name of the agency I used.

servicesdirectory.buckinghamshire.gov.uk/Categories/10