Dad diagnosed with jaw cancer

[egdehsdrawkcab]

My wonderful dad has been diagnosed with cancer. He had a tooth extracted late last year and has been suffering since - infections etc, and having pushed for a biopsy, they have confirmed that it’s cancer. We don’t know yet what stage or how far it might have spread. He’s in his late 70’s, with loads of other health issues - not a great candidate for surgery.

All I can think is that this sounds bleak.

Has anyone got any advice on how to cope the next days and weeks? We don’t even live close by (a flight away).

You poor thing. The bottom fell out of my world when my wonderful dad was diagnosed with cancer when he was 81. It was totally different and can't be compared to your dad's but I know the fear and uncertainty you're experiencing.

By the time it was diagnosed my dad's disease had progressed to secondaries and there was no treatment other than keeping him comfortable which he was - up until the last 48 hours he had no painkillers other than paracetamol.

I have no advice just a lot of sympathy and understanding.

Take things a day at a time. Make sure to do stuff good for your soul, a walk in nature, eat healthy food, drink water.

If you have a wonderful dad, just spend time with him and try and put it to one side. Take him for a coffee and a little walk or something.

Reach out to friends.

Post here and rant away.

Thank you. I want to go and spend time with him. We are in a different country. I’m taking comfort in the fact that he had two lovely weeks here with us in February, we had some fantastic times then. Memories to treasure for sure. I’m scared the next time I see him he could be a very different person - but I don’t know if it’s worse to go home and spend time (but how on earth to come back here afterwards to my DH and DC), or to wait it out until summer. I suppose I can’t make any plans until we know I’m the prognosis next week.

Just take every day as it comes,sounds cliche but really helps.

Thanks @Healingfrommothernarc - I did this today as I went for a swim. Today I felt ok, put things into perspective - reminded myself there will be a plan for his treatment, his pain management etc. who knows how tomorrow will go but I’ll try to bring myself back to today.

I have been in your situation with my dad being diagnosed with a jaw cancer. He was not a candidate for surgery but had radiotherapy which was brutal. I’m a nurse who has worked in cancer and palliative care for the majority of my career so I knew what was likely to be in store for us. It was an extremely difficult time - head and neck cancers are never easy to manage. Please feel free to message me if you need to.

Genuinely, that's excellent advice.

I’m taking this advice - today I had a cry with a friend. Feeling very wobbly since he had official T4/N0 diagnosis - but don’t know what the proposed treatment is as yet. I’m so scared for what he’s going to have to got through. He lives alone and I just want to hug him.

Thank you so much - I’ve sent you a PM x