Sandwich and distance carer - anyone else?

[haventgotabloodyclue]

Hi

Just wondering if there are any other people out there who are sandwich AND distance carers or know of any good resouces/social media accounts to follow for a bit of solidarity?

I am caring for young-ish kids (5 + 9) while doing everything possible for my elderly mum (who is only early 70s but has dementia, she was widowed 1.5 years ago) including all paperwork for POA plus trying to keep down a job and living in a different country. I travel back to the UK every 4-6 weeks to check on her. I see so many of my friends having a great time in their 40s and it just feels so utterly miserable and unrelenting to me.

Bloody hell, that's really tough. You poor thing. Is your mum in a nursing home or likely to be?

I'm afraid I don't know of any specific resources. I wonder if the Living Overseas board actually might contain some people I this situation?

This was me - my mums dementia became apparent when my son was 6 months old and until he was 15 I was trying to keep my parents going at home through health crisis after crisis while holding down a high stress job and living 80 miles away (obv not as far as you, but far enough to not be right there).
The Elderly Parents board on MN was the best support I got, there was always someone to talk to about anything. In RL no one wanted to know, and I can't blame them, but seeing other kids out playing with their grandparents at Easter when yours doesn't even know who they are is really tough.
My sympathies, its a really hard road to travel

I live in a different country and travel back every six weeks / two months usually for at least a week. I wfh and take holiday leave. My kids are adult and i have a sibling that lives near our DM , and it’s hard enough.My heart goes out to you managing all that with young children too.

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I’m more of just a sandwich and I think people really don’t get it can be a thing to have an elderly parent and primary aged kids, let alone the distance which must make it so hard. 💐for you.