My parents: Mum 84 with mobility issues plus undiagnosed dementia, probably stage 4 and my Dad also 84 , still ressonably fit and able currently live in the 4 bed family house. It's fairly remote between villages and is unsuitable long term as both bathrooms are upstairs. Mum refuses to see a doctor as she is terrified of being 'taken into care'. They muddle along but it's becoming increasingly apparent the house/garden is too big/remote for them esp if my Dad loses his licence. Mum refuses to move or accept any kind of help ( including gardeners !) Dad does all the shopping, cleaning cooking , house/garden maintenance for a quiet life as she can get really angry/aggressive with him. He is getting overwhelmed/exhausted.
My question is, when should they downsize..before or after she (eventually) goes into care. He is worried that if he downsizes after she goes into care, he will have to start paying for her care fees immediately and will thereby not have enough money from the sale without using some of her proceeds to buy a 2 bed bungalow somewhere. But as she refuses to acknowledge there are problems, he may have little choice. They are tenants in common and have less than 25k in savings between them. The house is worth approx 550k, (275k each) a 2 bed bungalow would cost 350k. Would it be prudent to try and downsize before her inevitable move into care? It's further complicated by the fact they are in the UK, and I am their only child, based in Australia. I have tried researching it on Age Concern but haven't found a clear answer. Any advice, gratefully received. Thank you.