Frustrated with independent but physically challenged parents

[Ilovemyshed]

Just need to vent.

Parents are moving house, both mid 80s. Had the house a few days and various bits been done with removals due to deliver next week. I have two days off work to unbox and get main rooms sorted and they are now saying to not unpack boxes and they will sort out themselves over time.

This won't really work as they will trip over, can't bob up and down etc and honestly, they have no idea how chaotic things will be if it is left like that.

Am I being too controlling to insist I unpack boxes and put stuff away in the furniture it came from?

Honestly I could scream!

They want to sort things out in their own time so just let them get on with it.

Tbh if they are anything like my mum at 83 they will be exhausted beyond belief by the move. I would plan to spend the two days sitting and chatting, making meals and cups of tea and shouting "REST" a lot. I'd be amazed if they manage more than unpacking their toothbrushes.

I backed off when my Dad was like this after moving him in his late 70s, and he was fairly fit/able at that stage. He was so horribly flustered and disorientated that I let it go and said we'd do it later. His second bedroom was full of said bloody boxes when he needed palliative care and it meant that one of us had to sleep on the uncomfortable sofa rather than having a bed, which was an absolute pain.

I now have most of those unpacked boxes in my garage following his death last year

In my experience this is really normal! Moving is overwhelming at any age, and especially for someone older
who is maybe moving from somewhere they've lived for decades?

I wouldn't push them to unpack asap,
frustrating as it is. Make sure all furniture gets to the room it's meant to be in. And ideally the boxes for each room so they're not attempting to carry boxes around too far. Encourage packing of an 'on the day' box and so they can easily access the basics to get breakfast and drinks. Clothes and toiletries in suitcases also helps.

Mine still has boxes to unpack several years later. I doubt that will ever happen!