GPs and elderly mum

[mikey9]

Mum, 87, with knackered hip and knee is now becoming immobile and has a Specialist letter saying urgent new hip required.
Have been trying to get an Urgent (supposed same day) appointment since last Friday when she seemed much worse, each day we call they say someone will ring her back that day, and nothing.....same Monday, Tuesday and now Weds
Is this the new normal.
I am 380 miles away in Scotland and don't know what to suggest.

I know our surgery here would be same day or next day at worst for someone of this age with the severity of probs she has.
Sorry, just needed to vent/rant)scream a bit.
(She cancelled home carer assessment I have been trying to get her to arrange for weeks, today just in case GP rang.....aaaarggghhh!)
M

Have you got POA so you can take it over?

My Dads surgery allowed us to fill a form in so that they rang/spoke to me instead of him about appointments as he kept forgetting it all/getting confused. Is it worth emailing her surgery and explaining the situation?

Sorry @mikey9 , that sounds so frustrating. I hope it’s not the norm! I can’t be bothered by the multi tiered telephone system the surgery has so I always call in to speak face to face and they are always helpful and often fit my Mum in the same day. Sometimes I have made a telephone appointment for her and I have a rough time for that call. It helps that it’s only in the next street over though.
Would you and your Mum have anyone who could call in and speak to someone and get a definite time for that call.
Failing that I would be asking to speak to the practice manager to explain what has happened and get a definite time for a phone call.
If you have POA or a letter of authorisation registered at the practice maybe you can insist they speak to you about your Mum’s situation there and then.

That's really bad that they've said they'd call each day and then they haven't. I'd be complaining to my surgery's practice manager if this was the case. My GP surgery always call when they say they will, which is how it should be.

Very frustrating for you.

Just to be clear, even if you have POA, if your mum has capacity you can't make decisions on her behalf.

You can't just take over because the GP isn't phoning back!

Won't the specialist have written to the GP?

I'd try emailing her GPs. Make it clear that you don't want to know anything but explain clearly what's happening and stress that you're worried in case it ends in a Hospital Admission.

I did this for my DA a couple of weeks ago for a problem that meant she was losing mobility and it was sorted within a few days.

This sounds odd - a call back is still an appointment , them not carrying through with all them appointments is terrible.

DM’s GP speaks to me when necessary because I have POA and DM has asked them to.

It is one of these multi-surgery practices (single call number) and Surgery is a mile and a half away, so no easy dropping in possible, mum can't get out and her remaining friends are just as incapacitated. Useful to know it isn't like this everywhere down there, her surgery does (to me) seem shockingly bad tho.

@DustyLee123

DM’s GP speaks to me when necessary because I have POA and DM has asked them to.

The POA won't be active though, so they are speaking to you because your DM has given permission.

If you have POA or a letter of authorisation registered at the practice maybe you can insist they speak to you about your Mum’s situation there and then. Unless she has lost capacity, you can’t use the PoA. She will have to give her written permission to allow them to-talk to you

Say you are phoning to make a complaint of negligence and want to speak to the practice manager.

Any news @mikey9?

So, after phoning and chasing on Thursday (me - AND then mum) an actual Doctor phoned her back later in the pm. Mum explained the issues and she said "she would look into it". So much for an Urgent appt on Monday - she isn't dead yet and continues to struggle on in a lot of pain - but "musn't grumble" and won't ask for a home visit as "there will be others who need it more".

What is it you're trying to get for her? I don't mean to be rude but at 87, it'd be very unlikely she will be fit for major surgery. So if she needs carers, home help, help with shopping/cleaning, that is something that can be done without the GP help. It's a long process but it can be done. The GPs do sound useless, and I hate that this is happening but being realistic, make sure you know what you're expecting.

sorry but I immediately wondered if your mum is okay to have that major surgery.

I know some people at that age can be very fit but it’s a big deal.

I know how hard it is to care for a parent but the home care assessment might be helpful in the meantime.

Fingers crossed that your Mum gets what she needs. My neighbour was 88 when he had a new hip so it is possible. 🫰🏻

Sadly I agree with others that you need to look at ways to make her as comfortable as possible now.

Has she got a gardener and a cleaner?

Does she have her shopping delivered?

Can you download the NHS App in her name, if she hasn't got it already, so that you can keep an eye on appointments?

I'd also point out to her that the GP practice gets extra money for looking after people her age, if she needs an appointment she needs it.

Can you arrange a physio to come to her house? If she has the means, I'd recommend paying for one as my DA, who does have the means but refuses to pay has been waiting 12 months for physio in her home since becoming wheelchair bound.

If she's not getting Attendance Allowance, I'd call and get the forms sent today. If you call rather than fill them in online they will backdate payments to the day of the phone call rather than they say they process the forms.

Has she got a Blue Badge? You can usually apply for one online.

And has she got the number of a reliable local Taxi firm?

I'd recommend reading The Twilight Shepherd by John Oakstone as it gives some very practical advice on looking after our parents as they age.

Are you imagining an "urgent hip replacement" will happen within weeks to months? As it's going to be months to years. Many people on the list are "urgent". The only reason a hip replacement gets done within days to weeks is if it is broken after a fall.

Painkillers will likely cause more problems and risks than they solve.

What you need to do is make sure she doesn't fall.

I wonder if you're scared your mum is ageing, and anger at the GP is displacement?

What you need to do is make sure she doesn't fall

That's a really good tip and something that I forgot to mention. What she needs is an Occupational Therapy referral and to be assigned a SW.

Ok thanks for the suggestions.

She got to the top of the list for a knee replacement last April with Op scheduled but the night before developed a tooth infection and it was postponed. We are now a year later and the compensation she has had to make for the knee according to the consultant has severely effected the opposite hip (which wasn't previously been a problem). This now led to the priority of needing a hip replacement. Regardless of trying to get an appointment to discuss the knee last year (she was assuming they would be in touch with a re-arrangement for the knee, but nothing - so she was trying to get a non-urgent appt with the GP to discuss the knee).

When I saw her at Christmas, I couldn't see how they could do the knee - with her obviously being in such (opposite) hip pain (rehab and physio requiring something to balance on) which is why I encouraged a private Specialist appointment. He is the one recommending the hip needs doing urgently (and that they wouldn't do it at the Private clinic as it would need NHS backup!) so referred back to GP - it then took 5 weeks for him to get round to send the letter...(the bill came in 2 days!)

Attendance allowance - just re-applied for. She had it removed a couple of years ago - god knows why considering her position. I read the form and it described mum's situation to a T, even before the latest developments.

Has had a cleaner once a week for a couple of years and a gardener for a couple of hours each fortnight for some years.

Has a "Warden call" device on her at all times (and has used it)

I do shopping for delivery remotely and have done since the start of Covid.

Blue badge she has had for years - however I sold her car for her at Christmas as she couldn't get in and out anymore. I found the volunteer car club/transport group locally and she has accessible taxi numbers.

Expanded home carer visit - initial discussion was supposed to happen last week but she cancelled it "In case the GP phoned".

The GP Urgent appointment request was due to significant change in pain level - moving a previously just mobile woman living alone to someone almost unable to bear weight at extreme risk of a fall from which she may (will likely) struggle to to come back from. I am realistic and also think the chance of a hip op soon is very unlikely (as the opposite leg needs a knee - so rehab will be very difficult.....), however a major fall will likely admit her to hospital.

Any anger with the Surgery is built up over some significant time, promises to call back just don't happen, repeatedly. A couple of years ago the surgery said they were instigating a monthly phone call system with patients over 80. It never happened.

Ideally (and she is keen to) she could get into sheltered accom and we applied for a private place locally in January - but I am not convinced they would take her with her new mobility issues...

As of today, obviously no progress at all with getting to see the GP (my aim is that they see her and explain what can/can't be done , any options etc.) for at the moment they haven't seen her current worsened state - and haven't seen her for over 9 months.

I am trying remotely to support her - encouraging her to re-arrange care assessment visit tomorrow.