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Elderly parents

What are our next steps?

5 replies

TheYoungestSibling · 26/02/2024 14:00

Mum I'm in her 90s and has lived on her own since dad died a decade ago.

Since about 5 or 6 years ago, she's needed a bit more support. I used to take her shopping every week, and gradually she found it harder to use her bank card, remember her PIN etc. when I changed jobs my sister used to do her shopping and bring it over. Mum gave up driving which was a bit of a relief to us all.

In the 5 years she's probably had three serious and several minor falls.

Cuts to the head needing stitches, a subdural haematoma that resolved normally.

This time, 2am ambulance and in addition to the nastiest head wound she's had, another subdural bleed and a broken wrist.

There is no POA in place. She wouldn't write one her three children didn't agree with, and us three children don't agree about much if anything.

For various reasons none of us are in a position to care for her to the extent she needs, but she refuses any paid help. Won't have carers in the house.

I don't know where we go from here it it's going to get difficult really quickly.

OP posts:
W0tnow · 26/02/2024 14:01

The first step is to agree a POA. Can’t you do a joint one?

Mydogisagentleman · 26/02/2024 14:01

Social services assessment would be my first port of call

Justkeepswimmingswimming · 26/02/2024 14:08

Make a double GP appointment. Discuss your concerns together and ask for referral to the falls clinic.

Ametora · 26/02/2024 14:13

Claim attendance allowance
get a social services assessment (they may submit the claim on your behalf)

Once the money comes in (or before as they backdate to claim) say that the government are giving you this money to pay for help and you have to spend it (you don't but it seems to have worked with my family and that of friends) . How do you want to spend it?

ImRen · 26/02/2024 18:56

She could really do with a POA. Is there someone else who could do it? Are you sure you and your siblings can't agree on anything?

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