My mother who is in her early nineties has reluctantly stopped driving. This has also coincided with her losing her local, life long friends. (They died). And has created something of a crisis in our lives.
She lives alone but fairly close to me.
She has decided that she will only eat ready meals as she does not enjoy her own cooking.
Previously she would have spent a lot of time popping out shopping, food shopping then cooking and eating.
Also regular trips to the library.
Suddenly she feels the days are dragging.
This is where I come in.
Everyday she expects some kind of entertainment from me.
I work part time, I look after 3 grandchildren afterschool for a couple of hours and a toddler one day a week. I have an adult child at home, he is no trouble.
My husband often suggests trips out but I feel I can’t leave my mother out as she sulks a bit and he is getting rather fed up of being in a threesome.
My mother is capable of enjoying TV and reading. She goes out to a couple of old folks clubs a week.
She has an event of some kind every day for at least a couple of hours, usually with me. She has a brief visit everyday from one or other of her grand children.
I have suggested she uses taxis to go out on her own, but she prefers not to.
Still she complains that the days drag.
I feel guilty that I need my own time and space. I suppose I am asking how much time is it fair to make her spend on her own?
She has a lovely house and garden, she is capable of light housework and gardening, which she tackles with relish .
She just doesn’t like being alone for long periods.
An old people’s home or sheltered housing has been dismissed by her as being full of old people!
The young keep me young she is fond of saying, but spending so much time with her is making me feel every one of my 56 years!
I just wanted opinions really? How much time is she justified in expecting from me?