How to talk about personal hygiene to FIL

[Mamoun]

My FIL has been a widower for over 10 years and he doesn't look after himself. His health isn't great and his hygiene terrible. He's got bad BO most of the time. I spoke to my husband who has a really respecting (loving but distant kind) relationship with him and can't see himself mentioning it / having the conversation. He worried that would crush him / his self esteem. I feel bad for him but someone he plays bridge with has made a very casual comment on how he should look after himself better... I think he should make an effort for the sake of his very minimal social life (and to be honest his smell deters me from spending time with him despite the fact that he's a very kind man).
Any advice on how to sensitively say that he needs to shower at least every other day?

@Mamoun is you fil sleeping in his clothes? is he managing to bathe or does he need a shower with easy access put into the house. think you might have to take the bull by the horns and just tell him. I was a nurse and i once had a new patient refuse a bath because he had one "last month"!!!!!!!! he was honking!

your husband needs to step up and take some responsibility here. Or his father - his own father - will end up isolated.

Tell your DH - don't ask, tell - what will happen to his father if he loses all his friends. He will have to spend all the time with him. Smelling him.

Is the shower clean, no mould or anything slippery? Could he be worried about falling/slipping? My mum has a shower chair to sit on. Does he need hand rails?
Speak to adult social services for an OT assessment. Maybe there are other services/outings in his area.

Was coming on to say this, i'd try and figure out if he was worried about cost first, then i'd be trying to suss out if he was struggling physically to bathe in the setup he has at home (as you say he's late 70s) or is afraid of slipping maybe?

This isn't a conversation you can have with fil. His son needs to step up here.

There maybe a simple answer- he may find bathing difficult because he can't get in and out of the bath, or the shower is slippery. My mil was terrified of falling in the shower, and couldn't climb into the bath. A walk in shower with grab handles and a shower seat helped.
Your DH needs to have this conversation and be honest.

It would help if your husband (or the cleaner if she's willing) can ensure his clothes get washed as well as his sheets.

In terms of washing himself, I wonder if there is a logistical problem, how is his mobility? Does he have an easily accessible shower? Climbing in and out of a bath may be difficult/risky.

I agree that the prompting needs to come from your husband. He should not try to pass on the responsibility.

Thank you all for your kind answers.
He is a bit confused at times but I would attribute his reluctance to wash in a "nah I'm a farmer I don't need to wash, can't be bothered" - more laziness than dementia. Cost is not the issue... bur will enquire!

He is mildly depressed although we see him a lot (my DH works from his home so he sees him most says, cleans his kitchen, wash his clothes, and will have quick bite / coffee with him).

Someone made a comment about how my late MIF would have dealt. Sadly never met her but apparently she had a strong personality. I was told she was loving but borderline bullying at times... telling him what to do and what not to do (he adored her despite this) so now she's gone he's like a little boy not sure how to act at times. My husband hates seeing his dad being spoken to that way so I think he's reluctant to have this chat - it makes him feel awkward. Lots of helpful suggestions... thank you!