Am I right to call 111?

[JamieFrasersSassenach]

DM has definitely got cognitive decline.
This week it has got markedly worse.

Today she has been telling me things have happened that I know have not.

Examples are that her heating isn't working - it's 23 in her house.

She says people have been coming in and out of her house all week - British Gas Homecare came twice to put new batteries in her hive thermostat and then to show her how to set her boiler temperature - their records say she was confused.

I live an hours drive away from her, I came over this morning to check everything for her - all good, spent about 2.5 hours with her.

I got home at lunchtime, by 3.30 she had phoned me 3 times to say her heating was not working and she was freezing (her hive account which I have access to was showing the house temperature to be 23) and then that none of her 3 TVs were working.

I came back - everything working fine, DM wearing a vest top because she is so warm.

She then said she phoned me because there were electrical wires all over the floor and she did not know where to put them.

She said I had left the wires there when I was stripping down electrical equipment this morning.

There were no electrical wires and I had not had any electrical equipment out this morning.

I called 111 and spoke to them about her confusion. I am waiting for a call back.

Is there anyone else I could contact for help this evening?

I can't stay here with her and simply cannot keep driving over, or to be honest cope with constant phone calls. I'm thinking maybe she has a uti and this is making her a bit delusional.

Anyone have experience of similar - ideas of what I should do to get DM some help tonight/tomorrow?

I have PoA set up so if she is deemed in the future to lack capacity I can act on her behalf.

It does sound like a UTI could be behind this just keep reassuring her and try to keep her calm til medical help arrives

I'm trying not to argue with her - she is just convinced that I want rid of her and I've called an ambulance to take her away.
I keep trying to explain that I'm worried about her but she won't have it.

She has always had a nasty side and it is out in full force tonight

Oh IP this must be so upsetting for you.
I hope this is something straightforward to treat like a uti as others have said.
My mamma would completely hinge when she had one. Also with her mentioning she was freezing when it was 23.... could she have a fever?
Sending you lots of love.

Keep your cool as much as you can, it’s so hard but it does sound like she may be acutely ill. I had a similar experience with my partner when he had pneumonia, his o2 was through the floor but he felt fine (in fairness he was physically in pretty good shape - no obvious outward pneumonia symptoms like you’d expect if you weren’t experienced). Hallucinations and all sorts.

use MN to say what you can’t to her. I’m a selfish bugger so my thoughts turned to resentment of why he was making everything so hard. It’s so hard being the sensible adult one

@JamieFrasersSassenach sounds like you are doing your best and it's maybe a uti. I am sorry things are so difficult. I remember both my elderly grandparents hurling abuse at each other when having urine infections (most unlike them)
It's always worse at night as well.
Hugs.

The out of hours doctor's driver just phoned to say they are on their way - about 30 minutes away.
She's hurled more abuse at me so I've come outside to sit in my car until they get here.
I can't take any more of her nastiness, it's awful.

That's good news!

Oh, @JamieFrasersSassenach, I know what a horrible situation it is to be in.
Try to remember it's not her speaking at the moment, but whatever is going on in her body.
Just keep telling her you're worried she is unwell and that someone is coming to look at her. It's all you can do just now and will hopefully get you and her through it.
My DM had a very delusional bout when she was at my house once (she was very low on oxygen) and was making remarks about a tv programme we were watching which were totally off the wall. I was very lucky that one of my adult DCs was with me - nevertheless we were both very bewildered and upset by it.
I hope the ambulance arrives soon.

Good call @JamieFrasersSassenach. Hopefully the dr is minded to her her admitted to hospital. Please make it clear that you don’t live locally and in any case she clearly doesn’t want you right now.

My H’s uncle said quite nasty things when he had a uti he was in hospital at the time as well.
hope your ok OP

The doctor is here - she's being as nice as pie to him.

Hope they get there soon, maybe there already.

They will do all the assessments. Sudden onset of confusion and altered behaviour can easily be caused by an infection. She might be showing other signs, like a high temp, raised heart rate and so on.

I have been to similar patients and they have had high infection markers in blood tests once they get to hospital - one I met again a few months later, behaving totally normally.

Hope it all goes ok for you and her. Well done for sticking with her.

Of course she is. Poor you.

Don’t forget the paramedic who spoke to her on the phone will have also reported their findings. maybe drop in how far away you live in front of her and see if that provokes an example of her behaviour towards you at least.

Doctor says she has a uti - she's arguing with him that she would know if she had one so therefore she hasn't got one.
He's trying to get her to take some antibiotics and explaining that if it gets worse she could end up in hospital but she's adamant she hasn't got one.
God this man has the patience of a saint!

I'm glad the doctor has come, hopefully he will be able to help, and at least he has been able to see what she's like at the moment.

That sounds absolutely miserably stressful. I'm really sorry.

At least you have reassurance that it's a UTI, hopefully the dr will be able to see that she can't be left on her own tonight and possibly admit her. She might need IV antibiotics if she's refusing to take them. Hope you're ok OP x

The same thing happened with my dad . He had a raging temperature and was completely erratic and hostile. It's awful to watch.

Hopefully the antibiotics will sort it. My late mother had vascular dementia and the visual and auditory hallucinations she had were terrible and very upsetting.

Well done for pursuing it. It’s UTIs that carry our loved ones away. I’d be worried she wouldn’t take tabs.

Hopefully, she crashes out soon and gets much needed sleep.
It.s frightening.
My DM was in this state for about a fortnight prior to section.
I.m sure you have already but minimise ‘risk’… keep harmful things out of sight. DM threw water and banged on windows.
She was both angry and fearful in equal measure.
DM knew we were trying to medicate her so was wary of what she ate.
Trying to get meds down was the hardest.
She gave something to our dog who was very sick.
Ive no good suggestions about getting her to take meds. We failed spectacularly.
Sending you strength and the ability to snatch sleep when she does.

This morning's update.
I had to come home last night and cannot get back to DM until Tuesday.
She messaged me to say she has thrown the antibiotics in the bin because she isn't taking any old tablets.
I've stayed very clearly that if she chooses not to take them she will probably end up in hospital on a drip.
I don't know what else to do

I think you need to speak to her GP in the morning and ask for a home visit and for her to be admitted.

This might be of use.

https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/delirium/management/management/

I don't think there much you can do until it hits crisis. I'm sorry OP it sounds awful.