PoA and Deputyship Qs - totally confused

[AFriendlyVouce]

Hi, posting her to avoid continuously hijacking other threads. Would so appreciate any advice from others with more experience of this awful mess.

So, my parent's situation has deteriorated very rapidly and it sadly looks like they will never regain full capacity and will require lifetime care in either a specialist dementia nursing home or in their own home, but as they live alone and cannot feed themselves / move much etc and are very confused, I cannot see much outcome other than a care home. I am not willing/ able for a variety of reasons to be their carer although I do of course want to try and ensure they are properly looked after. To complicate things much more, I have no PoA as this happened so suddenly, and my parent isn't very old so could feasibly have 20 years of needing care.

They do have some savings but not huge amounts. And a flat worth a very small amount.

I'm seeing lots of posts on here suggesting that if the State controls everything because there's no PoA, they charge a fortune - so who pays for that? Will I automatically be forced to as next (and only!) of kin, and what happens when funds inevitably run out?

On the other hand, if I tried to go for Deputyship that sounds completely hellish. I have two children, a very full on job with long hours that requires travel, and I don't know how I'd manage all the visits to banks etc that I see written about on here - I don't even drive! Im also really worried about bringing financial debt onto my family for this. I couldn't care two hoots if I inherit nothing, and I've made sure to put money away every month for our kids for their future so if they don't inherit either, so be it. But I hate to think of us having to remortgage or sell our own house, or not be able to afford to put the children through uni, because instead we are having to pay for my parent. And I'm an equal breadwinner so if I had to stop working it would be a huge issue.

I am not close to my parent, but that's almost by the by...sadly the extent of what's happened is so extreme and likely to go on such a length of time that I couldn't provide for it even if we were incredibly close without seriously impacting my family.

Really panicking as it sounds like the system is set up to put next of kin massively out of pocket either financially or through having to give up work / their own lives entirely to provide care which I'm really not qualified to give for these kinds of needs.

You will not have to pay for your parent.

As she has funds then when she goes into care the care will be paid for from her money. Most care homes are familiar with this situation and if there is a house to be sold they are happy to hang on at least a little while for the fees.

When her money starts to run out her needs will be assessed, and when it is gone completely she will be state funded. At this point some people do move care homes.

You can choose to pay your parents care home fees rather than let the state take over but very few people do.

I can't comment on the deputyship as that is not something I have experience of.

As Octavia said, any costs are for your parents to pay. Not you.

I had PoA for my father so it may not be quite the same as deputyship, but it certainly didn't require multiple visits to banks. One visit to register, for places that couldn't do it over the phone - but it can be to your nearest branch, not your parents' branch, and there's a better system now so almost everywhere can do phone or online. After that, it's just a case of setting up / cancelling DDs as needed and keeping an eye in the total so you can let SS know when they reach the funding threshold.

You do not have to be a deputy, the court of protection can appoint someone if you don't want the responsibility. Where is your relative at the moment. Have the had a formal capacity assessment, a care needs and a financial assessment.

I have deputyship for my son. I use an account in my name (a separate one) - which the OPG is fine with. I get audited once a year - it’s pretty straightforward. I have health and welfare as well.

Currently still in hospital - had a capacity and care assessment, but not financial as far as I'm aware although someone did call me asking if they had savings. Trouble is they have always refused to talk about any of this so I have no idea of their bank or how much savings etc

I have recently been appointed deputy for my stepfather as his house needs to be sold. If your parent no longer has capacity, it’s too late to apply for LPA and they won’t be able to sell their house themselves so applying for Deputyship is the only way.
To do so, it’s best to employ a solicitor. It’s a fairly simple process as long as there is proof of the loss of capacity - I gave her his DOLs paperwork and details of the mental health person dealing with his dementia. It did take 6 months though as the COP is very very busy!
Once I received Deputyship, I had to notify his bank - this was all done over the phone and I had to send them a photo of the certificate I received. I was then added to his bank account so now have full access to this. I was also able to put the house on the market. I’m using the same solicitor firm for the house sale as I used for the Deputyship application.
Regarding the cost of the application, this comes out of the account of the person who needs the deputy - it cost around £2k in legal and COP fees. I didn’t need to pay anything out upfront.
I had to complete an initial financial report once Deputyship was awarded - a prearranged phone call will a support assistance helped me with this. I’ve just completed the report for the last full year, again it’s quite straightforward. It really isn’t too onerous.

Regarding the care home costs, it’s on average £1k a week (I KNOW!) and the local authority will complete a financial assessment to determine how much the person needs to contribute. If they have assets of over £25k they will be completely self funding. Once their assets fall below this level, they will be reassessed and will pay a reduced contribution until their assets fall below £14k at which point they will become fully funded (but will still have to pay towards it from their income - their savings won’t be touched)

care home costs, it’s on average £1k a week

Dementia care is likely to be more. Dementia care and nursing will definitely be more.

If they lack capacity then the staff and the social worker will need to hold a best interests meeting to decide, with hopefully your views, on where they should live when they leave hospital. If everyone is in agreement the social work or discharge Co ordinator can help with finding the right place. Depending on their needs they may get help with the funding but this will all be done by the assessments that the staff do. If you don't know their financial situation then tell the social worker that, if you're at their house and can find any paperwork that's always useful for the social worker. You won't be out of pocket and I wouldn't rush into making any decisions.

Thanks @Soontobe60 so for the 6 months it took to set up, who paid for mortgage and care etc?

Are you sure your parent lacks mental capacity to grant you LPA (or PoA) in Health & Welfare? It requires a few signatures, one witnessed by someone who's known them for a few years, and in the right order.
Deputyship for health issues is nigh on impossible to attain, it is handed out only in the rarest of instances.
Deputyship for finance however will be granted, albeit it can take a while, because otherwise nobody could get their mitts on their capital which pays for nursing homes, etc
Has it been officially decreed they lack mental capacity?

Sorry for the delay replying.
The property didnt have a mortgage but there is Equity release on it. That’s just gathering interest until the sale goes through! He was assessed as being partially funded as the house couldnt be counted at that point, and there wont be a great deal when it does sell. I did have his state pension paid to me and the LA sent me the care bills so I paid them from this. As soon as I was granted Deputyship, I was able to access his very small private pension and the LA sent me a bill for the arrears which have now been paid.
As soon as the house is sold I will contact the LA who will do another financial assessment.

@Soontobe60

Thank you very much for that comprehensive and informative reply. We’re also just at the start of the Deputyship application process so that was really helpful.

@AFriendlyVouce I realise this is an old thread, but just wondered how you were getting on and what decisions you made? We are in a very similar position and are being asked to / expected to step in by family members and social services.

As others have said, though, you don't HAVE to. Have a good think about what you are sensibly able to do and what not. It's to nobody's benefit if you take on something you can't manage.