My dad died today

[Dontbesaft]

He was 95. He died at home, with 24 hour care and palliative drugs at the end.
Unfortunately due to needing to spend a lot of time getting him home from hospital, with correct care and equipment I took a lot of time from work.
I now have to go away for 2.5 weeks from tomorrow for work. Self employed, really really need this money.
Funeral all sorted , except the date.
Any tips for coping with this very strange period? Frightened I am going to break down. What should I do in down time to hold it together until I get back pl?

Take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Its a strange kind of limbo waiting for the funeral. Sending you the biggest virtual hug x ❤️🙏❤️

Very sorry for your loss OP. Don't be surprised if you find yourself a bit on auto-pilot for now. Grief is a funny thing and every one is different. All you can do is keep on going. When you're self-employed its tough - its all on you but maybe a bit of focus now isn't a bad thing?

After the funeral can be a tough time as I think adrenaline can keep you going until then. Very good luck with what's coming.

It's ok to not hold it together! Episodes of crying etc are quite normal. Let yourself go with it

Sending much love, I lost my Dad in June. I’m self employed and had to work as well. You’ve really got 2 options: you let people know and that you may need time/be upset (but depends on work if possible) or you almost have to pretend it has not happened. Tell no one and literally just focus on work in the day. I did the latter and it was fine mostly because no one asked. I did end up hiding in the loos crying over a custard tart one lunch hour though (my Dads favourite cake).

Sending you a big hug, I'm really sorry for your loss.

I was you twenty years ago and honestly I don't know how I held it together. I did though, I think autopilot kicks in and gets you through. Fortunately I didn't have to be chatty outside of working hours so just did meetings and presentations then hotel and slept.

I only have hazy recollections now, and whilst I was nowhere near on top form I was good enough, and sometimes good enough is fine. Do explain to people what's happened, although state you don't want to talk about it (if of course you don't), above all be kind to yourself.

Go on your work trip it'll keep your brain busy

Have a good cry

Cry some more

Think about all the lovely things about your dad

Cry some more

Treat yourself to lots of lovely fruit

I'd be eating lots of watermelon and pineapple and planning a holiday somewhere to have something to look forward to

Spend time on your makeup and skin care

Do some online window shopping

Get lots of sleep

Watch your favourite TV shows

They say you need to learn to carry your grief

He knows he was loved

He knows you loved him

And he loved you

I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember there is no right or wrong way to be grieving. You might find that you focus on work and think you are doing absolutely fine but then find you fall apart when the trip is over or you might cry every day but one way isn't better or right. Try and get lots of rest and build in time to do whatever helps - whether that is being with other people or being alone.

I am so sorry OP Xxx

Sorry to hear if your loss. My grandads funeral was a couple of days ago. Until then my mum was so busy sorting funeral,paperwork,banks etc. Since the funeral it has hit her and we've all had a good cry

So sorry for your loss

Tough that you have to go away for work OP. If you do break down it's no big deal, in fact it's perfectly normal x

Not self employed but on zero hours when df died.
I worked the weeks between losing him and the funeral and would say it helped me enormously.
The day after the funeral I was off work and it hit me.
The finality of it all.
So sorry for your loss.

Thank you everyone for your kindness. I am mostly just trying to plod through so far. Feeling a bit numb most of the time.
Not one for crying, I wish I could. It’s just little things that suddenly hit me like seeing a nice restaurant and thinking I’ll take him there🥲

Sorry for your loss.