Dad needs me too much

[mymadcatlady]

My DF has sadly lost his partner. They had been together for over 20 years but not married. My dad is driving me mad. He wants to see me everyday. i really struggle

with my mental health and this is not helping at all. unfortunately he does not drive (his partner did all the driving) He wants to go out most days to eat out. This is not helping my weight or bank balance.

What are you comfortable with? You need to decide that and tell him. A call on Tue and Thu and Saturday lunch once a fortnight? If he can afford to eat out all the time, he can afford taxis (or look into volunteer taxis for the elderly which I think just cost the petrol)

Aww this is tough for both of you. Do the eating out only twice a week otherwise you will truly get sick of it. Every other time each of you try to invite someone else as well.

I’m afraid it really is up to you. You have to decide what you can cope with and stick to it.

Have a look at what sort of help for the grieving there is locally and tap him into it.

Don’t stop your life for him, if he turns up at your house, either say you’re so sorry, you’re busy and shut the door on him, or let him in but just get on with things anyway (I’m mindful that my mother had a friend who lost her partner at a young age; apparently the friend would come round every day and just sit in a corner. It didn’t cause my mother any hassle but apparently helped her friend).