Needs care, refuses care

[fedupposter24]

Can we force a relative to go into care or even just to let carers in when he can't manage on his own?

He can't cook, forgets to eat, can't work the heating, house filthy, needs help taking meds etc, but refuses help. We live on the other side of the country and can't help. But he has been certified as having incapacity after a stroke and cognitive damage, is physically weak so obvious welfare issues. POA is active but hasn't been used yet.

All advice welcome, thanks.

If he has capacity you can't make him.

If he doesn't then you can make decisions for him however in practice that can be tricky eg if you decide on carers 4x a day and he sends them away or is violent.

Can you get an assessment from the council of his care needs?

No. If he has mental capacity to understand the consequences of his actions then he has the right to make whatever decisions he likes, even if you deem them to be unwise.

You could make a safeguarding referral via his local council. Realistically you are going to have to grit your teeth and wait for the crisis.

I assume by "incapacity" you mean he does not have capacity, in which case you can arrange carers as you have POA. He might not be compliant though.

Contact social services and explain the situation.
Do you mean he doesn’t have capacity?

Do you mean he doesn't have capacity?

Just start using your LPOA for Health. Get GP involved and Social Services (use the words Vulnerable Adult lacking capacity a lot).

He is likely refusing carers as he is unable to see he has an issue as he doesn't remember he hasn't eaten/washed etc.

What have you tried so far?

What decisions dies he NOT have mental capacity for, and is that permanent (eg stroke changes can improve though I completely recognise they don't always.)

What does he say when you offer to arrange carers?

If he doesn't have capacity to decide to live at home without carers, and that's been assessed, were carers arranged? Is he sending them away?

Is there anyone he talks to or would trust - neighbour, vicar, GP?

Would he accept a cleaner? Could you engage one who's a cleaner/carer? who would make him a drink when they arrive, a meal for them both then another drink as they leave?

Capacity is not an all or nothing situation he can have capacity to make decisions on some things but maybe not others ie not managing finances but able to choose where to live.

Each de ion re capacity is approached individually.

Has a formal capacity assessment been conducted around his understanding and choices around his living conditions? If so and he has been deemed to have capacity there is little you can do.... Adults have the right to make unwise decisions ( drinking to excess taking drugs being some of them) this doesn't change just because we become older and our unwise decisions worry others.

It's difficult particularly for those who care on the outside looking in.

Sorry I wasn't clear. A social services assessment was done and GP has certified incapacity to consent to medical treatment (daily treatment for long-term medical condition). Other cognitive decline is clear too. Nurses come into the house daily to treat his chronic condition but he accepts them because he couldn't manage the treatment himself.

Carers have been arranged starting in a couple of weeks. Yes @AnnaMagnani he can't see a problem. He phoned just now saying he will refuse to let the carers in and he'll get his own breakfast, lunch etc - no, he will forget and he can't work the cooker safely anyway, leaving stuff to boil dry or burn, not switching it off etc. And he won't notice that he's not bathed properly for days. He doesn't understand why they are needed.

I offered to get "my friend" to come in and make supper etc but he refused.

Nobody to talk to that he trusts, he is quite socially isolated. Neighbours aren't very nice.

@MoreHairyThanScary my concerns are mainly accidents from leaving cooking food unattended, food hygiene eg trying to eat chicken that's not been cooked, or using the cooker wrong (I've seen him do this) and from not eating / eating the wrong food as this affects his condition. Also not washing has already caused an infection.

I don't think he has capacity to understand what he is doing moment to moment but he can explain why not washing or leaving the hob on overnight is a problem. Then he will say he had a shower this morning - last month more like.

@fedupposter24 just be aware that if he refuses to let them do anything the carers will just go. I've made all sorts of suggestions to my parents carers which they agree with (dad makes his life so difficult and refuses to do anything to lighten the load because he is a ps stubborn as a mule). But dad then tells them not to do whatever I've asked them to do and we go back to square 1.

just so you are prepared..