I didn't realise how difficult this would be

[Harrriet]

Looking after my mother full time for 15 months in our home. After working in care and community care until I had to give up, I thought it would be fine. I didn't realise how much resentment I was holding towards due to my childhood/ teenage years and beyond really. I can't put her in a home . I just wanted to say to others that think very carefully before you offer to have your parents live with you.

@MereDintofPandiculation it was a lifeline. The only reason I am quiet at the moment is because my laptop is off being mended!

I always think I would find it easier to care for an elderly stranger rather than someone I know. I hope you can sort out a care home for your mum.

As the old saying goes, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

With the very best will in the world, caring for someone 24/7 and 365 days a year is an enormous ask. She might not want to go into a home, and might expect you to look after her, but she cannot demand it, nor can she force you to do it.

If you can no longer cope, then you cannot cope and that's that.

Have you had people round to do a care needs assessment?

Why does she have a bell on her zimmer ?

Could you slowly start sticking pieces of paper where the clanger hits the bell, so that over the course of a month it slowly gets quieter and quieter until it's muffled completely?

She has a bell on her zimmer so she can summons me to help! You can blame eldest son for that.

I love this. I totally get this!

Genius @MereDintofPandiculation

Love the thinking @MereDintofPandiculation