Mobile Phones

[AnneKipankitoo]

My mother has hearing difficulties. I bought her a Doro but she keeps turning the volume down with her finger when she answers it.
I also do not think she knows how to work it properly.
She has never been able to text.

Can anyone recommend a foolproof mobile ?

@Keepingongoing Both! The sound of the caller is ridiculously quiet. I can only just hear it and I’m 30 years younger.

my mum could t get to grips with an iPhone either nor a tablet. Just can’t cope with the touch screen.

Oh wow, yes, I share everyone's phone/parent-related frustration. My parent is the same. In the end, as I couldn't handle one more try-to-diagnose-and-fix-the-phone-problem-over-the-phone, I persuaded him to pay for someone to come and 'train' him on phone use for an hour a couple of times a week.

In fact, she spends most of her time on errands and admin (which is brilliant!), but she's often able to fix small things like ending up on a screen he doesn't understand, or an app crashing, or whatever, and if not she sometimes accompanies him to the phone repair shop round the corner. It seems to make him feel safer and has taken a load off my shoulders.

That sounds ideal @WanderleyWagon

That sounds wonderful @WanderleyWagon and just what my mum needs. She now seems to get stuck on things like notifying a change of email address or resetting a password.

How did you find this person? Were they advertising a service?

I found her by googling things like 'hourly-paid personal assistant'; the company has a branch that does concierge services and hourly-paid errand runners. They will do things like sit in your house if you have a delivery/tradesperson coming and you can't be home, or pick up the dry cleaning, or help declutter, or whatever. Not cheap, but for the service they offer, in my opinion worth it.

I tried a few sources of support for my dad, but this person was the one he liked the most, so they agreed to come every week for an hour in the first instance, and then gradually I was able to persuade him to consider two sessions a week. They also help with things like if he can't make the TV work which happens from time to time; it means he may have a day or two of not being able to watch his shows, but not longer.

It helps that I have ADHD and a support worker of my own, so I was able to frame it as: 'this is the kind of thing I find really helpful'.

I just wanted to let you know as i saw this thread on the main page that apple has a special new feature just for elderly people called Assistive Access which may be of use to some of you?

@WanderleyWagon that’s so helpful, thank you. Will look into this. She does have a contract with a guy who keeps her computer running - he charges an annual fee, and it’s very reasonable. But I think what she needs now with the phone and resetting passwords etc, is almost too basic for him.

I have tried, every now and then my DM gets an enthusiasm for having a phone and she has tried.

Honestly I have given up.

Keeping it charged, keeping it with her and working the buttons is all too much.

On the plus side she doesn't go out alone, can use her landline and her wrist alarm company is outstanding when she has falls. Or any other emergency - she has a box in the kitchen which speaks to her if she hasn't made a cup of tea by her normal time.

Mum does go out on her own a bit, but as she consented to stop driving after very gentle suggestions (which of course, were resented) - she knows she needs a mobile to call an Uber or taxi.

However her troubles with using it seem to be increasing very rapidly…oh dear, I just don’t want to think about what that might mean.

On the plus side, people where she lives (W Yorkshire) seem to be unfailingly kind and helpful to her whenever she’s in difficulties.

@AnnaMagnani , do you feel your Mum can manage alright without a mobile?

@Keepingongoing we don't have any choice!

But in reality - she sits next to her landline and knows how to use that
She only goes out in company
In an emergency at home either her wrist alarm company already know, or she can push the button and speak to them

Am not sure why she can manage her landline and not a mobile when the handsets are similar but she can't and it's been 10+ years now so it isn't going to happen.

She has similar issues to yours I think with using a laptop. She'll phone us and say 'it's broken' when all that's happened is a big notice asking her to accept cookies. On the other hand she doesn't know how to shop on it which is a blessing.

My DH has a very simple old fashioned BRICK one

it just does calls and texts and battery lasts for ages

I think in reality you would call it a burner phone

Like this one - SIM FREE so any pay and go sim card can be used

it is like this one from Argos

I'm not sure it would be useful but you could set up Alexa (Amazon Echo etc) in their house. If you set up properly you can just virtually drop in and see and speak to your relative and they can use a simple command such as "Phone Jo" and then Alexa will connect you.

You can set it up so your relative doesn't have to touch anything. It has a mode called 'drop in'It takes a bit of thought but it's easy enough. Your relative has to have WiFi.

I can't remember if you have to be on the same account or not but it does work at different premises.

"How Does Drop In Work?"
Drop In is an optional feature that lets you connect instantly to supported Alexa-enabled devices, like an intercom.
Use Drop In to open an instant conversation between your devices or with your Alexa contacts. When you receive a Drop In, the light indicator on your Echo pulses green and you connect to your contact automatically.
Drop In currently only supports two-way conversations. If you Drop In on a device group, only one device answers.

Well, after a LOT of research and phone calls with Mum, she says she feels up to trying the Doro 8100 or 8200. I found her a video review/ guide online which she found helpful. So, we’ll see how that goes…

It has been both tragic and comic to hear of her struggles with her iPhone…an insight into a completely pre-digital mind.

On the plus side she does seem to accept that she now has trouble learning new things.

@Hahahe thanks for your suggestion but at this stage I think that she wouldn’t get on with Alexa. There was a similar facility on her iPod called Siri, she didn’t get on with it at all. She regarded Siri as an actual person - who was very annoying!

Oh dear . Did she have arguments with Siri @Keepingongoing ?

I found my mother’s hearing aids in her “safe place” down the back of her bedside table. That was last Tuesday.
She lost one again on Sunday night .

@AnneKipankitoo after she’d had her iPod for a bit, I took it back to alter the settings etc and to load some more audiobooks onto it. I disabled Siri, and told her I’d done that. Her response: ‘ Good. That woman was a confounded nuisance’. Still makes me laugh!

Re the hearing aids… I feel your pain.

This is really hard.

tbh my elderly relative “ wants “
a mobile phone - was sold some utterly crap “ smart “ android phone by BT that initially could text and make calls but there was no involvement of any help so loved self out for a bazillion years when memory started to go a bit ( after down loading all sorts of crap and getting taken in by phishing !)

now we’ve given them a hand me down iPhone. It should work as you can take off anything other than basic apps and lock down so they can’t download etc - however despite many how to answer the phone etc type sessions ( with a bring bring phone sounding tone etc) etc they still can’t and it’s a “ prop “ to carry about to pretend they are better mentally then they are.

we tried but button type phones. They didn’t work either and “ this is a child’s phone “ induced petulance too 🤣

we need a rotary dial / separate handset on a curly cord “ mobile “ it doesn’t need to plug in just look and operate like a 1970s phone 🤣

@Keepingongoing
I'm going to double down on my google echo suggestion as it has the ability to be set up in a way that is far more simple than even Siri. You can ave it so that's it's basically used like a baby monitor where you can 'drop in' when you like and talk to her and see her and she can see you and talk to you. You can have it so she wouldn't have to do anything to respond or you can have it so that she has to accept the call but, if you want, wouldn't have to do anything at all. (This obviously is not going to work if there are privacy issues. )

I got my mum (84, has a tremor, is anxious/unconfident about technology, but no real dementia as such) a Doro android smartphone and use some of the accessibility features/keep the interface minimal. She can just about manage this although sometimes gets confused and frustrated with it. It does make her happy that she can be part of the family WhatsApp group, and see her granddaughter who lives abroad. She tries so hard.

She also has a tablet, mostly used for reading library ebooks but also for limited email. We've also cracked Zoom calls (working it so all she has to do is click a link in an email) in the last couple of years which she thinks is the best thing since sliced bread.

@Helenloveslee4eva that sounds really hard. Ditto on the petulance. Much grumbling about ‘why do they have to keep CHANGING things??’

I had a feeling I’d seen an ‘old style’ rotary phone with mobile capacity and I just found this https://www.amazon.co.uk/OPIS-60s-MOBILE-telephone-black/dp/B00P2AM0EM?th=1

Might be acceptable for your elderly relative?

@Hahahe I hear you. Tbh I think that Echo might well be good at a later stage, and thank you for pointing out what it can do, but she is fine answering calls at the moment, and of course also has the landline. It’s navigating around the iPhone for texts and emails and apps that’s been the difficulty.