Healthy but low/no cook meal ideas for DM

[WhatdidIdoyesterday]

DM has fallen into a total rut of eating the same meals every day. I am trying to get her to have more variety but she's reluctant to cook things that are outside her comfort zone. She had some sort of incident last year (which she hasn't divulged details of) and since then has almost given up cooking. My DF used to cook but he passed away a few months ago so its just DM now.

Her diet at the moment is:
Breakfast: museli with milk. Cup of coffee
Lunch: cheese sandwich on brown bread. Jam sandwich on brown bread. Apple, tomatoes/lettuce/cucumber. Cup of tea or coffee with milk.
Dinner: 1 fish cake, boiled veg (carrot/parsnip/broccoli/courgette) and small baked potato.
She sometimes has a biscuit or chocolate after dinner but not that often.

I don't think she's drinking enough fluids and I'm worried about things like iron deficiency as she's not eating any meat. She sometimes has half a banana with her muesli but not every day. She takes vitamin D but no other supplements. She's quite thin and I'm also worried about osteoporosis risk and just her general health. She's always been slim but she's tiny now. Her skin is dry and she has brown scaly patches round her hairline, I'm not sure if this is a sign of a diet deficiency or something else.

Does this sound like an OK diet or is she at risk? She's showing signs of dementia so I'm trying to get good habits formed now before its much harder. She won't try new things willingly and has never used a microwave. She also doesn't drive so only has the local co-op for grocery shopping. I've offered to take her once a week to a bigger shop but she's declined so far. When we go out for a meal she orders fish and chips nearly every time. I know white fish is quite healthy but it can't be healthy every day with no variety?

I will get her to try using the microwave next time I see her. She's OK with written instructions but they have to be really specific to her. She has poor recall and isn't very good at taking in new information.

I think the microwave resistance is also psychological, she thinks microwaves will fry her brain or something. She's had one for over 5 years and never shown any inclination to use it. But no harm trying.

It actually sounds like a balanced diet to me! Fibre, protein, fruit and veg included. Much better than many.

Perhaps repetitive but if shes ok with it then it's not a problem.

You could probably use something like MyFitnessPal to work out the nutrients she's getting.

If you're cooking for your family anyway, could you make her some homemade ready meals? I do this for my dad and he loves it. I just make a bit extra every time I'm cooking and put some in a freezable plastic takeaway dish. He's currently got a freezer drawer with shepherds pie, meat casserole and chicken soup. He then has them with tinned veg or the microwave steam bags.

That sounds like a pretty good diet to me. As people get older, pure calories get more important (as your volume of food decreases, you need to up the calorie density). I would concentrate on persuading her into taking a daily multivitamin plus minerals tablet.

Also although it sounds a bit mean I don't want to start cooking for her as a separate thing to cooking for my own household. I don’t think that’s what people mean. It’s more - if you happen to be cooking something suitable for your family, cook a bit extra and freeze it, give it her next time you see her. Wont work if your food standards aren’t up to hers.

you could persuade her into adding fresh fruit into the muesli according to season.

Thanks for all the useful suggestions. Will try some this week and see if she's willing to see the GP for a general health check. Wish me luck! I feel like I've become the parent of a slightly petulant teenager sometimes.

@WhatdidIdoyesterday Good luck with it all and please do report back what does work as it might help others who end up with an elderly teenager 😂

The fitness nutrition meal prep delivery has evolved a lot over the last few years.

I think they're probably higher nutrition, given the people they usually sell to demand this.

I've not actually used any as I cook from scratch but Prep Kitchen is one I've seen recommended.

I'm not connected in any way, just been considering this for myself (and elderly DM) as I got a bit fed up of doing all the cooking and I'm not keen on upf ready meals.

And what you're looking for is an app that gives you macro ratios. There is a tonne of info online and people argue endlessly about what's healthy.

Precision Nutrition is a good source tho. I did a lengthy course with my local dieticians, as I'm porky, and their info was very similar.

Most elderly people probably don't get enough protein if they eating pickily.

Would she have meat or fish pâté? What about soft cheese with biscuits, Philadelphia, roule etc?

can she open cans or could you get an opener to help with the ring pulls? Canned fish is really tasty and nutritious, baked beans too

Fruit cake, meat loaf etc are good. Pots of custard, small trifles in the fridge.

it would be worth pursuing the possible dementia diagnosis, and getting an occupational therapist assessment of your mum’s abilities in the kitchen. Can she read and follow instructions, sequence the tasks needed to produce her meals etc?

Very reasonable not to want to batch cook for her, however, now that my children have all pretty much left home, I often still cook as much as I did before, but freeze the additional servings. Could you just cook a bit extra if making something suitable, freeze it, and then drop a few off to her when you see her?

Regarding iron, bear in mind that all flour in the UK is fortified with iron. There is also iron in fish and the green veg she eats. If she takes vitamin D, could you cajole her into taking a supplement with more vitamins (C is needed for absorption of iron) and iron, itself?

I know this can be hard. My elderly FIL is often very reluctant to accept help or suggestions for improving his diet, or things that would improve his mobility. Fortunately for him, we have him round for dinner 3 times a week, but clearly our circumstances are different to yours.

Organic yogurts, tins of mixed beans and watercress to add into the salad, dried fruit, line-caught tuna.

Does she have a good nutty muesli? Just thinking some additional nuts you could mix into her packets of muesli would give nutrients but are also calorie dense.

Her diet sounds pretty healthy to me. Unless she's asked for your advice, don't give it.

I eat The same meals day in, day out. Not everyone loves food. As long as she's getting nutrition, which she obviously is, she's fine.

My neighbour eats exactly the same thing every day - sandwich and small salad, beef ready meal - and she's on course to hit 100.

Blood tests at the doctors would show iron deficiency and B12 deficiency. These are the big ones to look for.

What stands out to me is that your mum is only seventy, she could easily live another 25years. It is worrying what the incident was that has stopped her using the oven. Some good suggestions like an airfryer. From your post it sounds like she is much older, I wonder if the scaly patches are warts sebbhoraic (spelt wrong)keratosis.
If your mum was willing an NHS dietician would see her and assess her diet.
Does she have a full and active life? Good luck

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. She won't change her routine without my prompting. For the past 4 months since my DF passed away she's eaten almost exactly the same meals every day when she's at home.

If she's at my house I try to give her something different which she usually enjoys but I can't easily host her more than once a week due to work and my DC afterschool clubs.

Adding yogurts is a good idea. She doesn't really eat salad but will have cucumber or tomato in a cheese sandwich at lunchtime. Her evening meal veg would usually be 2 of carrot, parsnip, red cabbage or courgette. I've not seen her eat broccoli, spinach, kale or anything like that except at mine. The fishcakes are from Coop and around 33% poatato. Hence why I am worried about iron.

I'll ask her if she's willing to request blood tests from her GP. She's generally not keen on seeing doctors and hasn't been willing for anything to do with her memory loss but maybe would go for a general health check.

Adding a multivitamin also a.good suggestion and I will take some for her.

She leads a very simple life, doesn't do much outside of visiting us, a bit of gardening or a daily walk to the shops or post office.

Maybe make a point of making her an iron-rich meal when she's at yours? Liver or beef, or if they're more her thing beans and mussels are all good. And maybe some extra pumpkin seeds in her muesli?

Not sure if already suggested but first things that came to my mind:

hot smoked salmon fillets. Lidl do a lemon and herb, plain or sweet chilli version - doesn’t need to be cooked can be served straight from the fridge and is a good chunk of protein/healthy fats etc. could serve with boiled potatoes and veg or potato salad and salad.

ready made quiche (either heated up or I prefer it cold anyway) with salad.

I sometimes do an easy roast dinner using cold cuts/slices of meat from the deli section/counter. So like gammon ham, roast pork, beef slices or turkey etc. So could have with boiled potatoes and veg or again with a jacket potato and salad. But it seems to fit in with her diet already but adds an easy no cook protein option that she can switch up.

Oo also those bags of frozen rice mixed with veg are quite nice to put with a protein. Theres a nice wild rice with mushrooms one (think from Tesco's)

and the brand ‘gallo’ do a mushroom risotto dried in a packet that you just heat up on the hob and add water. It’s actually SO delicious, better than a lot of risottos I’ve had in restaurants etc and I recommend it to everyone! lol (https://groceries.morrisons.com/products/riso-gallo-risotto-porcini-mushroom-291234011?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnfmsBhDfARIsAM7MKi2QTHNajdtHVlO5N-y__1VyvI7Yv5ugHUSEOqwSmRzhcEee2ZjiGxkaAvQJEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)

Dietician would be good. One thing I picked up from my elderly father’s care, and now from my DH’s medical care, is that as appetite diminishes, you can’t afford to fill up the meal with too much fibre, you need more calorie dense stuff. My father’s dietician suggested replacing marg with butter, and going back to full fat milk. DH’s nurse-practitioner was saying eat anything that he fancies, no problems with extra cakes!