Mum in care home temporarily

[Metoo15]

Hi. Mum had a long stay in hospital after becoming confused and feeling ill. She’s 92 and has been in the care home 4 weeks. The social worker is going to see her next week to decide if she needs to stay,or if she could be moved to extra care housing, or go home.
Mum is so much better is putting on weight and walking much better. I’m afraid the SW is going to send her home, but the main problems are still there, she has postural drop which has
ended up in 3 very bad falls, she’s slightly confused and has occasional hallucinations. Apparently the LA can’t afford to put every one in a care home because of these problems and she’ll be looking for a cheaper solution !
I’m so worried. She wouldn’t be able to manage at home she had carers 4 times a day before her hospital stay. How can I navigate the meeting with the sw. I haven’t got POA so apparently it is her decision whether she stays or not.

That sounds like a very good outcome @Metoo15

im glad you’re mum was able to speak up & say what she wanted ie not to go home

if the SW comes back saying they won’t pay, please do get onto Age UK straight away. I used to do casework with them & I’ve successfully challenged social services refusal to pay on a number of occasions

Hi there.

The Reply button on Mumsnet doesn't work.
You need to click on the three dots on a post, then select Quote.
If you don't, your post won't make sense.

However, @Pussygaloregalapagos

The OP has an absolute right to enjoy her own life. She is nearly 70 herself and had been caring for her mother for many years.
She can no longer cope.

Please don't try to guilt trip women in this appalling situation.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/4967638-so-bloody-exhausted-waiting-for-someone-to-die-2

My DM was in the exact same situation in November. I was in touch constantly with my DM'S SW and emphasised how unsafe it would be for mum to go home to her flat. This is in bankrupt Birmingham so I was worried they'd try to not allocate a care home. Anyway, they didn't hesitate. Meanwhile I looked at care homes and found the one she is in currently. We're fortunate enough to pay a top up fee of £90 a week on top of the council funding but it's an absolutely lovely place and she's thriving. It's also a relief to know she's been well looked after. Family visit as often as they did but now it's quality time with mum instead of doing jobs etc. Good luck, I hope your mum continues to do well.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe Thank you so much. It’ll be a relief if she can stay in the care home she’s starting to settle, made some friends and her depression from living alone is lifting already.
Our relationship was suffering whilst she was at home, I was constantly exhausted and irritable, she was anxious and depressed. Now i join in with the afternoon activities with her, and we actually smile something that’s not happened for a long time.
Theinnocenteyeballsinthesky Thank you for the info I was wondering what to do and where to go if the decision goes against us.

@Metoo15that's so good to hear. It's such a relief to know she's happy and cared for. You'll be able to relax with your DH and take those holidays!
Keep the pressure on the SW and get the care home staff on your side. Let us know the outcome