Is he dying ??

[Feelingsad7000]

My dad is 95 and has been declining for a while. His appetite has got worse and in the past few days he has barely eaten at all. He is sleeping all day, occasionally getting up to go to the toilet. He is so weak and frail. I don’t know if it’s worth calling a doctor in, as I worry they will take him to the hospital unnecessarily. He seems to think he’s fine and seems to have given up.

You could call the doctor to discuss.
I don't think they can force him to go anywhere. Thinking of you.

Hi op, sorry to hear about your dad. Is he drinking at all? Any fever or confusion? If he’s not eating or drinking then it could be worth calling 111 to ask them for advice?

If he is dying it would probably help you and maybe him to have some professional advice and support. The gp can also help formalise his wishes in a ReSPECT discussion or sort out a DNAR form. This will help clinicians/paramedics if there is a crisis, to make sure his wishes are respected.

You can call a doctor if you're concerned. He can't be taken to hospital against his will. I don't blame him for wanting to stay at home though. Hospitals usually make decline even sharper.

Have you spoken to your Dad and asked him what he wants to do? Does he have an advance statement and does he have mental capacity? Do you have a POA regarding care? I would call his GP to discuss, they cannot force him to go to the hospital if he does not wish to. He could be ill and could be helped or it could be that he has simply given up, sorry. This must be a very difficult time for you, sending my best wishes.

Does he have care? Is he comfortable?

So sorry you are going through this. It may be that he has had enough and doesn't want to be helped.

Sorry you are going through this.

I think I would call the GP in for two reasons. Firstly, and most importantly, they might be able to do something to alleviate any pain or discomfort even if your father doesn’t want active treatment. Secondly, from a practical perspective, it might mean that if he were to die he wouldn’t need to go through a post mortem.

Definitely call the doctor, Dr should come out to him. Is he coherent? If he has agency then he can decide to stay at home. The Dr should put you in touch with hospice or palliative care, this can be at home and their advice will be invaluable. It can be that they can nurse him at home so you can just be with him . If he doesn't have agency you can request the same but would be easier if you have POA .

Hi thanks everyone. We will call the doctor - seems obvious that we should have done it already but have been worried about hospital and he is not at all concerned. But you’re right no one can make him go.

He is coherent although has done a few strange things in the past few days. Sometimes he gets up and seems fine for a bit! So it’s quite difficult. But I think he’s just so old and giving up. He doesn’t have any carers but lives with my mum who’s also 95 and very frail but better than him. We visit a lot.