Carers at Christmas

[FredaFox]

After some advice please

My 80 year old mum is home from hospital after a 3rd successive stay, she has come home with the most horrific pressure sores which she did go in with but 2 weeks later they are 3 x worse, the ward did nothing so she is home with carers 4 x a day, also daily district nurses as she's bed bound for the foreseeable due to the sores despite being well of her uti that she went in with
Anyway I digress....

Other than advice on pressure sores or feeding a parent with no appetite, if we have carers in on Christmas Day do I need to give them anything?!
Im not especially comfortable with them in and out the house as they make me anxious but they are (mostly) lovely and they are working Christmas Day any advice?

Sorry for rambling I'm tired and stressed due to it all

Yes, I would greet them with a mince pie/cake and give them a gift voucher, boxes of posh chocolates, a small plant - whatever your budget stretches to.

Aww lovely, I'll look at that, I wasn't sure what the done thing was but it's Christmas Day so feel it's right to say thank you

She's got double up calls so it's 2 people each time, I better nip out as it's more than I have in!

Or leave out a tin of quality streets etc with a note to help themselves.

Another great suggestion! Thanks

It might not be the regular carers on duty for every call over Christmas, so individual gifts may not reach the right people.

Also, the district nurses and carers are almost certainly from different teams so one general gift to take back to the office won’t reach everyone.

Either a tin of sweets/ biscuits open in the house, with a note to help themselves, or a gift for the district nurse team and another for the carer team.

The thing most likely to be appreciated is a card saying thank you or an email to the team leader if they've gone over and above for your DM.

Another wonderful idea, thank you

We've always gone for a box of Roses or whatever, tray of mince pies. If anyone has made a Christmas cake we leave some of that out.
Christmas schedules are always mixed up so you never know whether you will get your regular carer or someone else or 4 different sets of people.

That's why we go for something nice to eat that they can help themselves to.

We never leave them nice drinks actually. Maybe we should leave out a bottle of posh lemonade or something too.

We never leave them nice drinks actually. Maybe we should leave out a bottle of posh lemonade or something too

When I was carer in the community one lady did leave out lemonade (regular lemonade) and it was so welcome as we hardly ever had time to drink or nip to the loo.

Noted! I have plenty in stock now and will get offering drinks!
Thanks everyone

In terms of feeding your mum, have a look at Food First leaflets - there are loads from different NHS trusts if you google with ideas for high calorie/protein snacky foods.

For a lot of foods advice can be boiled down to add butter/cream/spoonful of dried milk to it. Makes the food you were eating already more nutritious.

My dad just has a big tub of chocolates out over Christmas and leaves it on the table with a 'happy Christmas and please help yourself' note. Everyone seems to appreciate the little gesture.

Lovely
After 3 hospital stays she's lost her appetite she's got ensure drinks but anything I can do to encourage it back will help
She's eating like a bird

A card is always genuinely appreciated and a tin of chocolates by the front door inviting staff to help themselves is a nice gesture. I find getting the glasses, plates/glassware etc that people 'Save for best' can help tempt poor eaters and encourage drinking. Also food from when they were much younger such as chopped up egg with plenty of butter, salmon paste sandwiches,trifle, battenburg cake, ovaltine, horlicks etc often get eaten even if it is in tiny amounts. I know it is hard having carers etc coming several times a day and if you are ever not happy with one it is ok to ask the manager that they not come to your mum again - the good staff won't be any different to you or your mum if you do that. I hope she has a pressure relief mattress- the district nurses can help with that if she hasn't. Take time to get some fresh air and space yourself, it is just as important to you and your mum's wellbeing that you have a break.

I don’t want be a downer especially at Christmas but in the last 6 months of someone’s life they eat a lot less. I wish I had known this earlier and not spent so much time encouraging Mum to eat when in retrospect it just wasn’t what she wanted. Although with being bed bound she maybe depressed and perhaps giving up on life. It maybe worth if the future discussing what she wants treatment for.

I used to be a carer, and it was lovely when people left a tin of chocolates/can of drink as I never used to get time to eat/drink properly when on shift. Or something like clementines that are easy to eat.

Thank you
She does have a special mattress, district nurse and tissue viability both happy with it

I do need to do more for myself, she can be very draining and selfish (before this recent illness)

Not sure I needed to hear this whole do tired but she does want to be resuscitated though I do think she suffers with depression she just won't admit it.
It's easier to be difficult with me

I found my DM developed a sweet tooth and she often eats sweet stuff even if she refuses other food.

Sorry, I didn’t want to upset you. If she was more active previously and is now bed bound her need for calories is probably reduced.

Realistically resuscitation is not going to be offered to a frail elderly person with pressure sores, carers 4x a day and no appetite, however much she wants it.

It is worth experimenting as taste buds do change when you are seriously unwell, but she isn't going to heal her sores unless she eats and you can't force someone to eat when they have no appetite.

Have a look at nourish drinks
Much nicer than ensure I think