Anyone have a mum on the spectrum

[Usurpea]

My mum struggles remembering faces
shes 55 from a Hispanic family
She’s very loud and retells the same stories
shes still obsessed and sad over her mothers passing 3 years ago

I got her some brownies and she loudly exclaimed I don’t like caramel
she’s had issues with addiction to benzodiazepines

she can’t stop smoking

she won’t agree to a hearing test as she thinks the hearing aid is not pretty

She has very 1950s view of how women should stay at home with the babies
she refers to her grandkids as her “babies” and has decided to name it ofc we won’t let her name it

shes 2 years older than her sister yet her sister went to college, has a career , has stable emotions

if we don’t visit often she’s likely to take an overdose and then my dad makes me feel guilty that I’m not over there cheering her up to prevent her spiralling

she has no work , friends hobbies and nothing to focus on except me and my brother and her grandkids.

Three years is no time to get over losing your mother.

ofc? Of course?

Do you think she’s on the spectrum? What leads you to this conclusion? Is this new behaviour or has she always been like it?

I think there’s more background that you’re not telling us. Has she attempted suicide in the past?

You can’t be responsible for someone else’s adherence to life.

I can obviously only tell anyone here about me - I cannot, and would, not speak for any of your DMs.

I am in my 60's. I have never felt that I fit in properly with others in my age group.
I am a mother and a grandmother (and a wife if that is important in this particular instance).

I did my best to be a good mum - hopefully most of us do.
Unfortunately, I now know that even though I loved, and of course still love my Dear Children so very much, I was not a very good parent, some of which was probably down to my very low self-esteem. I do believe that I was a kind person, and tried to be helpful whenever possible.

But now, I have some health issues, which of course the older one gets, then the more likely we are to suffer from less than brilliant health. However, for about the last 1.5 to 2 years my personality seems to be changing greatly, and it both dismays and terrifies me. I used to be so loving and caring and patient, and now I am horrible and nasty, and certainly don't suffer fools gladly - which includes me, I don't suffer me lightly either.

I have so far been able to mainly mask my feelings from my Children, and as far as my young Grandchildren are concerned I (Thank God) am still loving and caring and patient - I pray that that will continue. But very sadly, and horrendously, my poor DH gets the brunt of my awful behaviour, and to some extent so do some medics. Apart from that, I don't really mix with other people - lucky them! I don't know if I have the early stages of a dementia, or if I am just a really horrible and nasty person, whose true, or old age persona, is now pushing through. I actually hope it is a dementia so that my loved ones can have an understandable, and hopefully bearable reason for my apparent change in character.

I do hope to be able to see my GP quite soon, but like most of the rest of the country (it seems), getting a proper appointment with a GP for other than a serious emergency, seems nigh on impossible. I am under a neurological consultant for something else, and have an appointment to see him quite soon, I wonder if he would mind me telling him about this, as this change in my character is not part of his speciality as far as I know.

Anyway, to those of you whose ageing parents are showing very different sides of their personality, please consider that it may be due to some new illness or condition, or I suppose even the normal ageing process. If you can reasonably easily do this, please encourage - and help - your parent to see their GP. Thank God not all old people become horrible. Some manage to stay both gentle and sweet.

Sorry, I've just realised that this is an older post!