Getting affairs in order

[App1es]

Hi,

I'm thinking about helping my parents get their affairs in order. Unfortunately they are not very transparent - even to each other!

I don't expect to inherit anything from them, as all assets will go to a sibling who will need this more than I ever will. I am happy with this, but I do not want to be the person sorting out a mess because no one knows what's going on if something happens to one or the other of them!

Has anyone had the same issue and helped their parents get their affairs in order in good time? I have broached power of attorney but think making a list of their assets/ savings/ pensions would also be a good start. Do you have any recommendations for a list or a spreadsheet or similar that would help?

I'd really appreciate the advice, thank you.

Finding out who they pay house insurance/power/water etc is helpful too. And if you can, see if they are in debt/credit.

@DustyLee123 That's a very helpful point - thank you.

For my own AC I have Word documents for just about everything they’ll need to wind things up. All pensions, government gateway ID, all bank cards, current and savings accounts, with login details, store and petrol station loyalty cards, all the household utilities, premium bonds, birth certificate and passport details. One for all login details for things like eBay and Amazon, Sky and Netflix, supermarket online shopping. All insurance policies with renewal dates, email and phone numbers. One for car details, one for the pets… all saved on my laptop and on three removable USB drives so they can have one each.

Remembering to update them all when anything changes is a challenge in itself!

I imagine one or more of the charities have a checklist of things you’d need to know, I’ll actually explore them over the weekend.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

I knew I had seen a booklet for you to fill in. Hope this helps! It actually looks really useful, I feel like I need one for myself.

So, my parent has been happy to accept support and suggestions about admin.

The first thing I would look at is wills and power of attorney. Not having a will is a recipe for awfulness. My surviving parent has been good about getting this sorted.

I'm not very comfortable with online documents, so I organised that all bills, bank statements etc. should come in hard copy (easier to track if something has gone wrong) and then we set up a filing system where each year has a big ring binder with all the bills, important correspondence, insurance details, asset statements etc. He only has to file each thing in the current year's folder, which is working well.

He also was OK with introducing me to his solicitor, accountant and stockbroker which was very helpful, and we're working our way through the process of getting letters of authorisation for me so I can help with any aspect of his affairs. (Slow and not always easy process but worth it).

Getting all his passwords in one place hasn't been as successful so far! Still working on that :)

Thanks @Tupperwarelidi have forwarded that link to a few people already and will do one myself. Never too early.

Some very helpful recommendations and a super link too. I hope this can help others who have (or haven't) started to ponder the same questions.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply. 💐

My MIL is like your parents, not very transparent. She started needing and asking for help but was most unwilling to give up any secrecy or what she saw as control. Rather than try to take over everything at once we’ve approached it one thing at a time as and when there’s a need. Eg when they moved house we discovered FIL was paying the gas monthly by DD while MIL was paying electricity three monthly by walking up to the bank and paying in a cheque. Firstly we demonstrated how much they would save by having a dual fuel on DD, then MIL let us set it up for her so we knew the login etc.

This way we’ve gradually been given permission to oversee her bank accounts, emails (when she locks herself out) and various other bits.

She still drives us nuts - she’s just renewed her driving licence by post rather than doing it online, and is convinced that she has no licence and can’t drive while she’s waiting for the return of the card, which has now been gone for nearly two months.

we set up a filing system where each year has a big ring binder with all the bills, important correspondence, insurance details, asset statements etc. He only has to file each thing in the current year's folder, which is working well. Prepare for this to break down in later stages. My father, a meticulous record keeper all his life, ended up adding papers, put back into their envelopes, to random heaps all over the house