Legalities of emptying and selling DM's house.

[Justmuddlingalong]

DM just been placed in a nursing home, social services involved. We have no relationship to speak of, but as one of her kids I've been chivvied into and just been granted financial guardianship. I'm still awaiting the paperwork coming through, in order to deal with outstanding bills and the sale of her property.
She'll be self funding her care so all proceeds will be taken into account.
What happens with her stuff, not clothes and things, but furniture, jewellery, antiques and things? Do I have to sell anything of value to add to the pot for her care costs?
What about her will? What happens if I willy nilly donate stuff to the charity shop and Ethel from the women's guild has been promised her wedding china?
If anyone's got experience of dealing with clearing a still living DParent's house, I'd really appreciate any advice.

@shardash your legal rights in Scotland only apply to the moveable estate and children are entitled to 1/3 of it (divided between all children) so you can still do what you like with the rest of you can give it all to your children.

You have 20 years to claim your legal rights. So if a wife leaves all her money to her husband the children all have to be written to to see if they want to make a claim on the estate. If they don't reply you have to hold that money back! We are going through this now

Once you have guardianship check with the solicitor if they still hold her will, you can see if there is any specific bequests then. Once that's done, list the house for sale and get a house clearance company to quote you for the contents, though I would deal with any jewellery yourself. Unless there's really valuable pieces, you'll be lucky to get much more than them taking it for free!

Also for those talking about will rights - there are no rights until she dies, until that point her money pays for care etc

Honestly I would back away too. Social Services are going to tell you whatever they want to reel you in. They have to sort it if you walk away. There are probably 100s of people who have no one to handle their estates and there has to be a way of dealing with it.

Do not let Social Services bullying you into dealing with this. Be like your siblings and walk away.

Walk away from it, OP. There is nothing in it for you. If the authorities want her money, they need to do the grunt work. You’re expected to be an unpaid lackey! Sod that.

I agree with the approach of your siblings tbh.

Just leave social services to do the grunt work. If there's nothing in it for you, stop wasting your time and effort.

The "valuable" furniture and jewelery etc probably isn't worth much anyway and why should you waste your time, money and energy to realise it's value just for the money to go to the care home or the other beneficiaries of her will?

When the "golden child" realises you're not going to do the grunt work, they'll soon make the effort if there's really anything of serious value!

Walk away!

It’s not as simple as you say. For one thing, it doesn’t apply to the house, which for most people is their main asset

https://digitalpublications.parliament.scot/ResearchBriefings/Report/2021/6/11/5a0b3d96-028d-457b-bb5f-a7d7a4eff466

Sorry about your relative

If you are dealing with bills, I would contact the council to ask if the council tax is free while nobody is living in the property due to relocation to a nursing home

I don't know how close you live to this property, but do not under estimate the time, energy & stress that this will take to sort out.

People on previous discussions have suggested taking photos of items in the home before they are sold, given away, recycled, given to charity or taken to rubbish. Once things are gone, they are lost forever

You or someone else in the family should remove the valuable & sentimental items

Good luck

If the OP's mother is divorced/a widow, then her children's "legal rights" are to 50% of the moveable estate (ie essentially bar the house, so cash, savings and investments plus any valuable possessions), divided equally amongst them. So if there are 5 siblings, they would each be entitled to 10% of the any cash/savings etc.

But as others have said, legal rights only come into play once she's died, so if all her savings have been used up by then, the point is moot.

You mention that she is self-funding. In Scotland, you can get personal and nursing care paid - but you need to apply and it can't be backdated. So make sure that SS have assessed her as needing such care (which I presume they have) and that a claim has been made to the council (£233.10 a week for personal care and £104.90 a week for nursing care). That should be going towards the cost of the nursing home, although she'll still have to pay accommodation costs. I presume she's also getting a pension - that can go towards the costs.

https://careinfoscotland.scot/topics/care-homes/paying-care-home-fees/personal-and-nursing-care-in-care-homes/

Having been through this twice being the only child in the UK I am heartily sick of being taken for granted. DM lives in sheltered housing and she literally gives EVERYTHING to me to sort out. I get random calls from people saying Mum has given your number to us. I had a row with the surgery who tried to persuade me that she wasnt housebound if she could leave her flat with help (or a taxi). Mum cannot confidentially make calls and would be very anxious and worried getting into a taxi. They wanted me to take her to flu and covid jabs.

Push back massively. Golden child (which is not me) just pops up occasionally and is treated like a King.

If you can now at this late stage - say that for personal reasons you cannot undertake the role. Someone will pick it up. SS just dont want it to be them as they have found 'the daughter around the corner.

Interesting that men dont seem to take on these roles....

I'm late to the party,but will echo what other posters have said. Social services can and will take care of the financial/ house side of things if there is no one else willing or able to do it.
An elderly lady near me had no relations nearby,just great nieces and nephews 100 miles away,who,understandably,didn't want to get involved with sorting out care homes,wills,house clearance ect.

Social services did take over everything, elderly lady ended up in a nursing home,the great nieces and nephews were allowed to come and take a few things as mementos before the house was cleared,but were not allowed to touch any paperwork

I’m going against the grain here, OP, but absolutely do what’s easiest for you .
Don’t run around chasing an extra fiver here or there. Don’t rush to get copies of the will. Just dispose of things as best you can. So what if you sell something ‘precious’. She should have sorted her affairs well before now. You are a hero taking this on.

I was a guardian for eight years and also Scotland. If you do your best in difficult circumstances then that’s good enough . The OpG people will not come after you. They are barely keeping up to date with their business. They will recognise your difficult circumstances and support you.