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Elderly parents
Original poster

Bank card recommendations for elderly dementia

34 replies

Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 05:51

Does anyone have recommendations on bank card appropriate for early dementia relative. Dad has bank card to an account to which I control how much cash is in, he likes to pop to shops and buy things and uses it to withdraw cash to play cleaner etc.
However he gave his card to a fraudster this week who convinced him they were from the bank and they used it to withdraw £500, he must have told them pin as well.

Is there a better option out there for us? Perhaps it's just keeping the account balance lower.

I think I can convince my sister to drop cash round every week (she lives nearby, I don't). So we could possibly get by with a card only.

My kids have Go Henry cards but they look as though they are for under 18s.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 05:53

My late aunt used to give her card away and it was dreadful outgoing drama. The bank finally stopped her having a card, it was a massive pain as she loves so far away. So I'm sure there's a solution I've not thought about.

OP posts:
Kissmycousinkate · 19/10/2023 05:56

Can't you have a card with minimum balance which you top up online?

PermanentTemporary · 19/10/2023 06:03

I think if he's reached the point of being defrauded and telling people the pin, I would move to cash only.

I guess an alternative would be a card that you load with a limited amount of money - something like Revolut?

PermanentTemporary · 19/10/2023 06:04

I think they're generally called prepaid cards.

LuisVitton · 19/10/2023 06:28

Could he be given a post office card and told it can only be used in the post office to get cash out. (perhaps that is the case I don't know)

Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 06:54

Yes I think something like revolut is what I was thinking about.
he's probably on some target list now for the fraudsters so I expect they'll try again.

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/10/2023 06:59

DH and I have starling current accounts as second accounts. We originally hit them for travel but if DH is going out drinking for example he will top up a nominal amount into that account and use the debit card knowing if he leaves his card in the pizza shop again there is only the amount he loaded at risk. Essentially any second bank account would do but I like the fact we can control everything on the app, stop the card if it's misplaced etc. with Starling.

Spencer0220 · 19/10/2023 07:08

I was thinking about some sort of prepay card. So even if he has given it away, it's useless once empty.

I'm assuming he's past the point of being able to write a cheque for the cleaner?

If your sister for any reason couldn't drop cash, could you perhaps pay online? So DF doesn't need a card at all?

bruffin · 19/10/2023 07:18

Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 06:54

Yes I think something like revolut is what I was thinking about.
he's probably on some target list now for the fraudsters so I expect they'll try again.

I use a monzo card which i keep small amounts on and use for lunch etc. That would work as it would be easy for you to top up

fruitstick · 19/10/2023 07:21

Could you use a goHenry card somehow?

DS has one and I am responsible for putting money on it, and also I get a notification when he spends (so know he's just spent £8 at the coop etc)

They're designed for kids but I'm sure it would work just as well.

henrysugar12 · 19/10/2023 07:49

Something like a revolut card would probably work. Not sure why the big banks can't do something similar!

Mumof1andacat · 19/10/2023 07:55

Might also be worth looking in to getting power of attorney

gotomomo · 19/10/2023 07:59

There's something called a guardian card I think, like a go henry. It's designed for this scenario. An easier option is to keep a lower balance on a prepaid card, with those they can be replaced with a new number easily

CMOTDibbler · 19/10/2023 08:13

I'd get a Revolut card as they are so easy to manage online, you can stop it instantly, and then you can just keep a really low balance in it - and it will notify you of all transactions.
Could you start paying the cleaner by bank transfer so he only needs a bit of spending money?

Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 08:17

Thank you all, I really appreciate the suggestions. Thinking about it, cash only won't work as someone mentioned there will be times my sister can't get there to give him cash.
Fortunately I have enduring POA registered, which as it's the old style POA which is registered when they start to lose capacity is in itself a challenge with banks, since some won't let him have his own access to money with this type of POA. Fortunately we found one back that would allow him to keep a card.

I'm going to look into the prepaid card options. I feel bad as he has quite a lot of savings and I want him to feel he can spend it on treats etc whilst his dementia is still early stages without worrying about the balance running out or checking with me. Although mainly it's splurges in charity shops on military history books and too many fish and chip suppers.

OP posts:
Jennalong · 19/10/2023 08:17

We suspect mil is in the early stages . She has two a/cs with the same bank . Dh has given one card to her that has a smaller amount in ( less than £400 ) and she uses that and it's topped up when needed.

Newname7 · 19/10/2023 08:22

My dad has early onset dementia and we have given him a Monzo card. Can be topped up easily via and App, You get notifications of any transactions, low balance alerts and can easily freeze/unfreeze cards when they are lost/found. We generally keep less than £100 on there so worst case scenario that is all that is at risk, but he still has the independence of being able to pop to the shop if he wants or buy his friends a pint. Would definitely recommend

MessyRaptor · 19/10/2023 08:32

Would also recommend the second card in a starling account. Its essentially two accounts linked together. The app is great - I get notifications, can easily add money without the other party needing to ask when the balance is running low. Can also freeze the card easily if it's temporarily misplaced. I can also set limits for contactless and withdrawing cash. Can choose own pin which has made it easier to remember it. It's been really great.

Blingstar · 19/10/2023 08:37

I'd recommend Hyperjar. You set up the account then you can create jars which can have a connected card. I use this for my child. It's free unlike Go Henry. You can see in the app how much is in the jar, where it's being used etc. very clear to use.

caramond · 19/10/2023 08:38

I have a Starling account and use the card for travel in London as I don't want to get my main debit card out to use the tube etc. I usually have up to £100 in that account and sometimes use it to get coffee or other small spends along with travel. The app gives me a notification on my phone each time I use it so that would alert you immediately to any unexpected use.

nibblessquibbles · 19/10/2023 08:42

Revolut are great and have a under 18s option which comes with a card but has some restrictions on it eg you can set transaction limits so you could block any transactions over £100 for example. It looks and acts like a normal card though for all other purposes. You manage through the app and you can top up and see where they are spending. Could you set one up for your DF? Not sure if they ask for proof of age

Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 20/10/2023 11:27

Sorry, might i please ask a Q re the Starling account. I would open the account in my name and then transfer Dad's money into my account to then add to his connected card?

Can anyone think of an issue doing this, would it look dodgy to anyone (Social service? OPG?) if they were ever to audit his accounts for future care etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 20/10/2023 11:28

Dad doesn't have a valid photo ID anymore, passport expired, no driver licence. So I can't open the account in his name it seems.

OP posts:
Spencer0220 · 21/10/2023 06:05

Could you renew your dad's passport?

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