My mother is becoming unbearable, she's very bitter

[Squaretiles]

My mother has no one else in her life. Her husband is long long. I remember my youth, I grew up in poverty and she always made excuses about her own siblings. I like some of my aunts. She's extremely anti social. All my siblings live abroad. When they were at home, she was over bearing because she had a notion that because they were men, they were useless. I live at home because the rent in my area is sky high and places are limited. I provide her with company and help too and security too in case anything was to happen.

Living at home with her is becoming unbearable. If I am not getting Argo from her, I am getting the silent treatment from her and all of it is coming out of nowhere but she knows how to speak to me when she wants me to help her with things. That's the only time she speaks to me.

Over the past year I noticed her sister has stepped well and truly back. She probably picked up on something from my mother.

Also over the past year, one of my brothers has also stepped back. He's not phoning her anymore and he's making the excuse that my mother's phone is always off. I suspect it's an excuse. She never really told any of my brothers what her position is and she does seem to hide it but she's someone who hates all of their partners. Maybe he's beginning to realise that now, I don't know.

She's becoming unbearable now. I was sick yesterday. When I got up this morning I was met with Argo and just bitterness from her and the first thing she asked me - did I hear from anyone - meaning one of her sons. She couldn't even ask me how I am (sore and sick). I still had to work today and when I go home it will be 11 hours out and about and at work and likely her first question will be - 'did I hear from anyone'. Never mind about asking about me, how I am, how was my day. She doesn't care about me. She tolerated me but that's it because I am useful to be used when it suits her.

Life is too short.
Flat share or move away completely.
Ask yourself if you would accept this from anyone else.
Just because she gave birth to you doesnt give her a free pass for bad behaviour.

Move out.

Is this a change in behaviour or has she always been like this?

It would be good if you could move away.

Are there any potential visitors that could come round while you are at work to give her something else to think about?

Maybe a paid visitor if necessary?

The key to dealing with the Aggro is not be drawn into it. Or if you do get drawn have the same set of facts to fall back on.

”You have alienated people by being unpleasant and bitter. You are perfectly capable of phoning them yourself, you choose not to and are cutting off your now to spite your face. I won’t be getting involved.”

You have to remember that your mother is emotionally very immature. So you have to talk to her as you would a child, or teenager.
The sad thing is you appear never to have cut the bond with her and stepped out by yourself- so you’ll need to examine your role in the dynamic and make sure you don’t become bitter after martyring years (decades?) of your life to her disfunction.