those who have contacted GP with concerns

[audihere]

As the title says, I'm looking for those of you who have contacted your parent/relatives GP when you have concerns about them (the patient).

I'm seriously considering contacting my own person's GP as I don't think they are seeing the full picture when they speak. Although they have regular appointments they didn't know my person prior to covid and I'm concerned they are missing vital behavioural changes which I think are being put down to anxiety and are being medicated as such.

How am I best to go about contact? would an email be best? I understand I won't get any feedback and I'll make that clear, but what is crucial is that the GP doesn't mention my contact, as this will destroy the trust between me and my relative, and their mental state is hanging by a thread as it is.

Yes, just email or call. There will be a practice nurse who could organise an appointment for a review.

do you have power of attorney? They can talk to you freely if you do. Otherwise it’s more strict though you might be lucky, our GP is very helpful with the “ah, yes, but he’s not the most accurate historian - here’s what the family see…”

Try ringing and explaining and see what the receptionist says. If they are willing to discuss your relative you might be able to schedule a phone appointment with the GP to raise your concerns.
I am lucky as my mum's GP will talk to me over the phone and did a home visit at my request to follow up on concerns (she was very good at hiding her symptoms though, so you may need to keep the dialogue going)

I've contacted my DM's GP by letter and there was no response/action at all - in my cynical moments I suspect the letter went into the file labelled "waste paper basket".

I have contacted GPs about my parents and my husband. They will call them in for review without revealing you instigated it. The best was when my dad received a letter asking him to go in and he said ‘oh good, I haven’t been feeling very well’ and almost ran there.

I rang up and stated to the receptionist that I know they can’t discuss, but I just wanted to give some information. It was acted upon.

no POA as relative was fairly furious at the suggestion and so I haven't pushed it.

thanks for all the replies, I will call GP and go from there

I went and spoke to OHs GP when I was convinced he had PD. I told them I knew they could not comment but I needed them to know what was happening.
He did have PD.

I rang my parent’s GP who rang me back. The GP took my concerns seriously and told me to make an appointment for my parent which I did and everything snowballed from there.

I called my grandmothers GP and didn't have a good experience. I was very much brushed off as 'she's too old to help' (she's severely neglecting herself and was pulled out of residential care by greedy children watching their inheritance be spent)

I begged him to go and told him she was suicidal, I begged him to turn up unannounced and see the real picture. He didn't, he called her son to arrange the appointment and by that time she had been washed, changed and coached as to what to say.

He then called me back and said he was closing the case, she didn't need any help.

I saw her recently and she was sat in her own urine, had a cupboard full of microwave meals and couldn't go to the shops as greedy children have taken all of her bank cards.

Don't expect miracles :(

Sorry to hear that My purple heart, to be fair its probably beyond the GP's remit.

Have you tried social services?

I think a GP is not at liberty to discuss a patient with a third party , however well meaning and concerned.
However, the GP would be very foolish to ignore concerns brought to their attention and act on them if appropriate.
For this reasons I emailed my Mum’s GP when I was coming up against a brick wall with the local community nursing team. Luckily he picked up on it quite quickly and came back to me to confirm some of the facts, which I did. He never discussed Mum’s case with me or breached patient confidentiality but I needed to know that he had a full picture of the facts.

yes this is exactly what I mean, I'm not expecting the GP to breach any confidentiality, but I definitely want them to have the full picture, so would be passing info on rather than wanting a discussion

I'm so sorry, that sounds like a desperate situation

You need to contact Social services and ask for a Care needs assessment. And if you have safeguarding concerns contact adult safeguarding.

There is nothing to stop you from expressing concerns.

This is why I chose to email rather than telephone the GP. I thought it was more clear cut that I was providing information rather than seeking a discussion.
Also, thought it would be harder for the GP
to ignore a written (on the record) concern.

Hi @Finteq

I have done both, I have tried social services, I have tried Age UK, I even tried the care home she had respite care in when she came out of hospital. She had collapsed at home from hypothermia last winter

They have all come to a dead end. They believe she is able to make her own decisions, despite her son being there to answer for her every time they visit. According to the law she is allowed to refuse any care even if it's being whispered in her ear at the time

I am a GP and always glad to be contacted… I am happy to hear info but cannot divulge… except where a patients safety is at risk. I will often write something in the notes though… if I am hit by a bus the next day the doctor taking over needs to know what’s going on.

In my experience, I only got results when I contacted the Practice Manager (if you look on the doctor's clinic website, you should be able to see the names of the staff listed)

I just make an appointment to go in and talk to the GP about my mum and have never had any problems doing so. I do have power of attorney. The practice has a very professional and also commonsense attitude, and they understand that how mum presents when she has a professional appointment is far from the complete picture.
There is no need to be apologetic when making an appointment. I just say “can I make an appointment please, it’s about my mother.”

@MyPurpleHeart

That sounds quite neglectful of the GP, who ought to have been less naive and more proactive. The GP surgery can, for example, send round District Nurses and they often just turn up as and when, according to their schedule. However, maybe the GP's hands were somewhat tied especially if one or more of her children has Power Of Attorney. And even if not, if there is an established carer, it can be really hard to get past them.

Anyway I think your route (if the GP hasn't taken it which it seems he hasn't) is to contact Adult Social Services about neglect and self-neglect, and give them the information including that of course, with advance warning, <name(s) of her adult children who are involved> can and did make it all look fine and coach her. ASS might be crap too... but, they might not. Both our family and two of my friends have had good experiences with ASS over elderly-care-related issues.

Well done to you for trying to protect your Grandmother. Keep at it, it often takes a few goes with these things.

I wrote to my mums GP (4 sides of A4, printed!) he called me, we talked and we got the ball rolling with my mum's dementia

Best thing I ever did, he was brillian

Four years ago my Mum reluctantly went to the GP as having memory problems. I emailed the GP with details of my concerns and examples of out of character behaviour over the last couple of years.
I explained in the letter that it had taken a lot to get Mum to agree to attending and to please not mention that I had written in.
The GP started the appointment by telling my Mum and Dad that their daughter had written to him as concerned!
Neither of them were happy about this but it soon got forgotten in light of her alzheimers diagnosis.