Sorry subject should be; Difficult mother, now with toilet issues! Just reading the threads and really feel for everyone suffering the strain of difficult ageing parents, makes me feel less alone. I have a humdinger to share. I was on holiday with my 78 year old parents last week (for the first time in 15 years), highs and lows, but the real low was my mum crapping herself at the breakfast table in a full restaurant. She just announced it was happening and didn’t bother even trying to move and get to a toilet in time, just let it all come out while sitting. I was absolutely mortified and froze. She commanded my dad to run to their room to get something to wrap around her. At that point I thought, no, I don’t want to deal with this, so I left to my room. She’s an “abrasive” person, and I never felt looked after by her, I never got much sympathy for anything painful I’ve experienced, and I noticed a lot of resentment rising in me. Anyway, it turns out she had her gallbladder removed, and was given a list of food she shouldn’t eat, because she now has less bile to digest fat, so it just rushes through to the, er, exit, but she keeps eating those foods (hence the sudden upset stomach). I noticed at breakfast she’d put three packs of butter on her two slices of toast, then piled on greasy bacon etc. and guess what, more explosive situations happened on other days. She’s always been a bit of a glutton, loves fatty food, which might have destroyed her gallbladder in the first place. She’s become very overweight and is developing mobility issues, has always neglected her health and I feel never takes responsibility for anything, expects to be looked after. I had a talk with her, she basically told me to shut up and “don’t you sometimes sh*t yourself?” (no), meanwhile my very enabler dad just chuckles and says she likes all the unhealthy foods and what can he do? He dislikes confrontation with her, panders to her. So what, we now just say ok to her, please go ahead and crap yourself publicly due to your own refusal to modify your diet and we’ll clean up? Is this what stubborn old age is? Like second toddlerhood? I feel pretty embarrassed and sad about the whole thing. Any advice on handling this would be much appreciated. Thank you. Solidarity to everyone feeling the stress.