Dads flat and cleanliness

[paulfoel]

Last few times its been absolutely stinking in his flat. Really, really bad.

I've tried to tell him. Doesn't listen.

I've noticed the smell is him. I sort of asked him and he said "I had a shower the other day". Turns out he means he has one once a week. Ewww.

His answer "well its only me here so it doesnt matter and when I was young we didn't have things like showers so you'd have a bath once a week".

Hes has nurses, meals on wheels people going there. I dread to think what they think....

Ps no professionals nal will ever judge your dad or you for stepping back. It is actually surprisingly common and very common for family members to have taken a step back. Just don't accept power of attorney or you will become embroiled in his care if he loses capacity x

He's a stinky, cantankerous, sexist, bad-tempered old man.

Step back, emotionally detach, and leave him to get on with it.

Ha ha ha!
This with knobs on!

Here's todays classic. I mostly visit Tuesday evenings.
I get him some shopping - about £20 worth. He deliberately keep his stock of food low because, of course, he can play the "I've got no food in the house" to pressure me to visit.

Tried to tell him I'll visit anyway but please stop doing this. I buy him double what he asks for and he sulks. Bought him a freezer - theres literally 2 things in there. Hes gets meals on wheels as well mind.

So today, Im not feeling great, bit of flu I think - no spring chicken myself - I can do without working all day then a 2 hr round trip. So I called him, you'd have thought I'd announced the end of the world not just skipping a visit. I got the "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?????" rubbish.

Of course, I've offered MANY times to get things delivered if needs be but that scares him to death because he loses his power. Last time I suggested he came up with some excuse like he doesn't want strangers (i.e. asda delivery) knocking his door.

Its just nuts that he think I don't know what stupid crap hes pulling....

I think we have the same father! You need to try to detach and just do what you can and have no guilt when you can’t go. I did manage to get mine to accept online shops which helped a lot. Beyond that just remind him of the old saying “you reap what you sow”. If he wasn’t a great dad especially you owe him very little. Look after yourself