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Elderly parents

WFH with elderly parent

7 replies

Dottypom · 23/09/2023 05:55

Does anyone WFH with an elderly parent? My Dad is 84 and coming home from a reablement hospital and I’m thinking of spending my WFH days x4 per week with him to keep an eye on him. He’s very forgetful and will be moving about with walker but otherwise ok. Just wondering what pros and cons are - if anyone else does that? Thanks!

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 23/09/2023 06:13

I know a couple of people who tried. It was a nightmare. They'd be in the middle of an important call/job that needed concentration and the parent would wander in asking questions. They both decided it was actually easier trying to cope with a small child and work at the same time and gave up after a few months.

Coffeesnob11 · 23/09/2023 08:23

I can't wfh with my mum. She gets upset if I don't actively listen to her reading the day mail to me, she has no concept of being quiet if I have a call and walks behind the camera a lot. Just trial it one day and see how you get on.

EmotionalBlackmail · 23/09/2023 20:43

Check with your employer. Ours specifically states in the WFH policy that you can't be looking after a dependent at the same time - and mentions both childcare and dependent elderly relative.

EmotionalBlackmail · 23/09/2023 20:45

I've also seen in an online social meeting someone's husband with dementia wander past totally naked! Obviously a social meeting so not work but not ideal for anyone.

letmesailletmesail · 23/09/2023 21:05

A friend tried. It was a disaster. Her dad had never really grasped the concept that her job was important both to the organisation where she worked (she was pretty senior) and to their household income. The fact that she was doing it from home made it seem even less important to him so he'd constantly interrupt. This included coming in & asking questions when she was on Teams calls. However sympathetic others on the call were to her situation, elderly
men do not have the same cute factor as
a young child. Then there was the issue that
he could be quite rude quite loudly (also had hearing issues) about how her call didn't matter or why was she wasting time doing it, this was whilst she was still on the call.
As well as making her work difficult, she began to resent her dad which made everything harder. Fortunately she realised it was an issue and came up with an alternative plan before anyone had to say anything.

Dottypom · 24/09/2023 07:53

Thanks everyone for your messages and good points. I think I’m not going to do it just now. Another point my husband made was that me being there and helping would de-skill him and we want him to be as able as he can be for as long as possible making his cups of tea, lunch and dinners. I’ll stick to just popping round socially and hopefully all will be well!

OP posts:
Freddiefan · 24/09/2023 08:06

My aunt needed help and she and her daughter made their own arrangements for people to pop in . Some of it was paid for and others were kind fellow church members. It worked well.
My mother had carers sent by social services which was not good.

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