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Elderly parents


2 replies

Horsemad · 11/09/2023 13:59

Just had phone call from Dr at hospital for a 'general chat' & he broached DNAR being added to my Mum's notes

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

She's 83, has PD, has been hospitalised for a few months since having a TIA (soon to move to nursing home) and is now immobile & doubly incontinent.

I have no objections, I know/feel it's a sensible thing to do but it's a very odd feeling actually having that conversation... 😞

OP posts:
Sunandstorms · 11/09/2023 14:04

It is an odd feeling. It’s maybe a little easier in a way if you can see it as allowing the inevitable rather than making a choice which robs your mum of the chance to survive - the sad truth is that once she’s so poorly CPR and attempts at resuscitation are not going to be able to reverse the irreversible which is really the only time it’s useful - if the underlying cause for the cardiac arrest is something you can change.
But it’s a horrible thought. Hugs to you x

Believeinmarmite · 24/09/2023 08:33

I totally understand that it is a strange feeling but am very pro DNAR, as PP said CPR is unlikely to fix the ongoing issues and it is a brutal process that is very often unsuccessful anyway, and if it is creates more problems. It is not a peaceful way to end a life.

I have had to have this conversation for my Mum, although she has very little quality of life. This was not done in a nice calm way but in a busy A&E. I cried and the consultant cried with me, I think it was very close to home for her.

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